The dingo ate my baby...

The Audition season is in full swing here in NYC. I know this because my "drag bag", my wheeled luggage the size of a small child, has permanently come out of storage. It's now being used to transport my daily necessities.

This time of year every actor lives the movie "Sophie’s Choice". He or she has to choose which of their “babies” (auditions) has a better chance of survival (getting a call back/booking the gig). Do you attend the calls from places you want to work? Shows you want to do? Shows you can do?  Do you have to work that day? Does the audition fit into your schedule? Do you have the right material? Will you have time to prepare? Can you sing or dance or act through your allergies? Will you get enough sleep the night before? The questions go on ad nauseum.

You, as the sole proprietor of your business, have to make the choices…smart informed business choices.

I chose to actually attend only two of  four possible auditions this week. The third audition, had I been hired, would have me portray a character that is against my professional doctrine. The fourth would’ve required me to get in line at 4am to maybe get an audition slot. Maybe. The fact that I was already scheduled for rehearsal during the audition time made number four not a smart business choice. 

The two auditions I chose to “live” were the best choice for me at the time. I had the right music to sing, the right clothes to wear. The auditions fit into my schedule. They’re for theatres I want to work at and they’re shows I want to do.

One of the auditions was okay. I learned just how far I can push myself. I now know that I can pop up to a B-flat successfully 6 times a day. Unfortunately, I needed 8. 

The other audition was fan-freaking-tastic. I finally understood, through performing this audition, what it’s like to inform a highly specific iconic character with your own personality. The response to this was great. It also helped that the people holding the audition, the Equity monitor at the audition and the uber-talented accompanist, were all very professional, super nice, and incredibly supportive.

Imagine my shock and dismay when in direct response to my fan-freaking-tastic audition, I received the following email:

I sat for 4 days and watched candidate after candidate sabatoge themseslves because they don't understand what is required from them in the audition situation. So many of you have the talent, it is the focus that is missing. Of the over 700 people who performed, maybe 100 folks showed the depth and breath of their abilities. Most of you need to take a class, if not mine...someone's, please...for your own good. *** ******* or ** *****...but get into class!!

******* ***********

IS ACCEPTING STUDENTS for his CLASS

AUDITION THERAPY FOR THE MUSICAL THEATRE

FOUR WEEK SESSION
ONE CLASS PER WEEK

$300.00
(equivalent to $25.00 per hour)

Cash, Check or Credit Cards thru PayPal
PAYPAL must be done in advance of starting class
thru my administrative assistant *** *********;

***********69@gmail.com

2 Evening Classes; 6-9 PM
1 Daytime Class; Noon-3 PM

Monday Evening; *********** thru Monday Evening; **********

Tuesday Afternoon; ************ thruTuesday Afternoon; ***********

Thursday Evening; ********* thru Thursday Evening; *********

72 Hour Cancellation Policy

FOR A CLASS SYLLABUS
AND MORE INFORMATION

CHECK WEBSITE:****************.com

or Call: 212-555-5850

Maximum of 6 students per class

---

(The “*s” represent names and information that needed to be omitted.)

Other than the asterisks that is the actual email. I received it. My colleagues in the show I’m rehearsing received it. I’m guessing at least 600 people in total received it. I cannot imagine the amount of tears that flowed or the hurt this email placed in the hearts of girls and boys, men and women professional and novice alike. Not to mention the handful of talented hopefuls who, after reading the email, abandoned their careers.

After reading the email and taking a moment to send "postcards from the edge", I got myself together. When people began sharing the fact that they too had gotten the email, my first thought was Phew. It wasn’t directed to me personally. Then I started to really process it all and came up with a fairly succinct conclusion: “…Honey this is nasty business.”

There is no reason after an audition that an actor should ever receive a soliciting email. The actor could have been the most god awful ugly talent free thing on God’s green earth. That’s still not a reason for such an email.  Besides if a performer is that deluded about his or her abilities, nothing anyone could say or do can change that perception. It’s futile so why bother.

If someone behind the table, or in the room for that matter, is so moved to contact an auditionee for reasons other than a callback, a hiring or an invitation to audition for a different piece, it should be to give direct, helpful and constructive criticism. Most, if not all actors would relish the fact that someone in a position to provide them access to a job took precious time to share how their audition was perceived.

No matter what side of the table you’re on, it’s most important to remember that perception is only the reality of the person doing the perceiving. It’s not necessarily the Truth. It’s merely one person’s opinion. And we all know opinions are like butts…

Since Show Business is a Business at its core let's break it down in Business terms.

The people behind the table are the Human Resource Department for the Business of show. It is their job to help facilitate a meeting between a theatre and an actor, in hopes of procuring employment for the actor and filling a job opening for the theatre.

In the corporate world it is illegal to use an employee's or perspective employee's information, gleaned from a submission or interview, for anything other than the job in question. It’s considered an invasion of privacy. It’s one of the reasons why personnel files are locked and only a select few have access. Most corporations will terminate any employee who uses personnel files to solicit in any way what so ever.  

Performers are not incorporated together and cannot fire a producer, director or casting director. So what can you as the actor do should you find yourself on the receiving end of such a communication? If you’re union, you can let your union know of your disdain for the situation and demand action. If the union doesn’t know these things are happening they cannot help.  It will be interesting to see how the Actor’s Union handles this situation.

These days the theatre world is almost completely run by Corporate America. Most corporations only understand money and the bottom line. So kick’em where it hurts: the wallet.

Boycott the person’s auditions. He or she may seemingly have wonderful job opportunities. The question is do you really want to work with someone so crass and opportunistic? If he or she treats you like this at an audition, how will they treat you and use you for their own ends, when they actually work with you?

Familiarity breeds contempt.

A colleague of mine, Sebastian, is owed money from a legitimate, high-profile theatre job. It’s because of the unscrupulous actions of the person who cast the show. The situation is in arbitration.

Don’t take classes or seminars from him or her. Let the owners of places like Actors Connection, The Network and the myriad of  “pay-to-play” groups know that you feel their reputation is hurt by an association with the person in question. After all, many of the people who hold seminars at these places are only in it for your hard earned cash.

It’s a small Business world. An unprofessional person will get a reputation. I booked a show which some of my friends and colleagues, including a few heavy hitters on the Broadway scene, had refused. In fact they tried to warn me. Because of someone associated with the project they told me it was in my best interests to turn down the contract. Wanting to be employed I signed on. I regretted it from day three of rehearsals. It took me another three years to fully recover emotionally. (More on this story on another blog) When theatres or producers see actors are reluctant to work with someone, opportunities for his or her employment will dwindle. And for this person in question they have all but dried up.

Since most people, actors in particular, aren’t willing to give up the possibility of working; word of mouth is your best defense. Let other actors, singers, dancers knew what this person’s done. Then they can make their own  smart informed business decision about whether to proceed with the project in question or to walk away from a potentially harmful situation.

Words and actions have power. You wouldn’t be an actor, singer, or dancer if you thought otherwise.

I plan on contacting Equity about this email Monday morning. My other plan of action is to add to “The List”.

I’ve had dealings with a few people whose professionalism and suitability for the job was in question, including the casting director responsible for Sebastian’s monetary problems. In these instances I was treated no better than the "French lieutenant's whore", used, abused and tossed aside. I am a professional Actor. I deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. We all do.

I have grouped these people together on a list, albeit a short one. They are people I will not audition for, work for or with, take class from or associate with on any artistic or professional level. “The List” is one way I make my "Sophie's Choice". I assure myself of avoiding situations that are potentially harmful, personally or professionally.

Another way to avoid these types of situations is by being a consummate professional yourself, by following the rules of protocol and generally being a responsible adult.

I believe that one should have integrity not only in one’s art but also in the Business behind one’s art.