Tomorrow morning you'll wake up the the white noise...

 

I have 4 siblings, two brothers and two sisters. You can imagine what Christmas was like at my house...

Come September we would starting thinking about what we wanted Santa to bring in December.

October we would earnestly start amassing details on toys and games and clothes and books.

When November arrived, our letters to Santa would be written.

Every year the letters had the same format: the youngest would have at least two full pages of requests. The oldest would have the shortest list that contained all the big ticket items. The second oldest only wanted money and the second youngest only wanted nerdy things like telescopes and chemistry sets. When finished, our letters were taken to the post office, destination North Pole.

Christmas morning would finally come. There would be piles and piles of packages, large and small with bows, ribbons and glittery wrapping paper. Our living room looked like Santa pulled up with a dump truck and unloaded every gift ever known to mankind. It was all stuffed under and around an 8 foot tree that should have been on an MTV show called “Pimp My Tannenbaum”.

The youngest was always awake first. She would try to sneak down to look at who got what, but would inadvertently wake up the second youngest. Then they’d both sneak downstairs and try not to wake up our Dad who had fallen asleep in front of the TV. They’d run around the tree to discover whose name was on the biggest box and count how many gifts each of us had. They would wait for a bit but then the excitement would take over. They’d wake up the entire household. It was time for gifts!

Or so they thought.

My family has a holiday tradition. I have no idea when or how or even why it started. The tradition is the whole family has to wait for me to meticulously wrap each present and cart them downstairs and place them under the tree...all on Christmas morning. And wait they did because I gave the best presents.

I guess I’ve always been a little behind the curve in timing. I didn’t hit puberty until I was 16. I didn’t stop growing until I was 27. Now, most of my friends know me to be a little late...okay...perpetually late. But I still give the best presents!

Christmas 2012 came and went. And guess what? I’m late. I was in my bedroom wrapping the biggest gift ever. In fact it’s so big I would have had to call my oldest brother to help me carry it downstairs to the living room. My youngest sister’s eyes would have gotten as big as saucers with excitement. My older sister would just know it was for her. While my younger brother would’ve seen something shining and run off to investigate.

My Dad was a very close friend of Santa. I mean how else could he get him to personally come to our house on Christmas Eve (!) to give us each one gift? And as a child, I knew my dad helped Santa every year. Why else would he be so tired on Christmas Eve that he fell asleep on the sofa with the TV still on?  

So on Christmas morning, Dad would continue being Santa’s helper and ceremoniously pass out gifts. He would’ve spotted the gi-normous package that my oldest brother and I had carried downstairs. To let the anticipation build, Dad would’ve left that gift for last. He’d finally get to it and read “From Steve to...” and he’d draw it out as long as he possibly could. The entire family would’ve been on the edge of their seats...

“...to You”.

This year I’m giving YOU the best gift ever! But like all the best gifts that arrive on Christmas (or a little after) there’s “some assembly required”. You see, I’m gifting you the opportunity to work, the prospect of getting a paying performing job!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Now all you have to do is “assemble” it. The instructions are in plain and simple English. Although I think a lot of performers may have a bit of trouble following them...

 

Stop watching all reality television shows.

 

Turn off “America’s Got the Best Damn Dancing Survivors of Housewives’ Voices on the A-List Who Have Amazingly Raced to the Career You Wanted” and start working toward the career you deserve.

In this business getting ahead is all about using situations and opportunities to your advantage. Laura, Justin, Emma, Kelly, Diana, Jeremy, Carrie, Reichen, Nene, Elisabeth, Max, Jennifer, Richard, Christian, Kyle, Mike, Jamie, Analeigh, Eric, Yaya, Bethenny, Jacinda, Nicole, Lauren, David, and David and the other David and so many more have used reality shows to spring board their careers. I've personally worked in a production with someone who's career skyrocketed to stardom after the production closed and after winning a reality TV show. That’s not to say these people are untalented or undeserving of the spot light. They just used you to get there.

“Mickey Matsumora” just won “U. S. Coach Potatoes Are Bored with their Lives and Think They Have Talent”. Having a huge following, evident from your votes, Mickey is hired to star in The Musical, Broadway’s newest and hottest show. Great for Mickey. Not so great for you.

You see, there exists a natural hierarchy in theatre.  Performers are cast as:

     The leads in the show

or...

     The chorus who understudy the leads in the show

or...

     The character people in the show

or...

     The chorus who understudy the character people in the show

or...

     The covers for the leads and character people in the show

or...

     The chorus in the show

or...

     The on stage and off stage swings

Based on their type, performers are pigeon-holed in one of these categories. It's just another version of “type casting”. For example, a competent swing (an actor who knows several, if not all of tracks in a show) will almost always be cast as a swing. There is a specific skill set involved in being a swing. So when a performer is found to have this skill set their niche has been forever carved. It’s the same thing, albeit with a different skill set, for someone who stars in a Broadway show. And you know what? , it’s a real challenge to break out of your type...

...“Cassie you can’t go back to being in the chorus”.

When one of these performers is displaced from their natural habitat by a reality star, it creates a ripple effect.

The theatre person usually hired to do Mickey Matsumora’s type of role in The Musical, maybe gets bumped down to understudy or doesn’t get hired at all. The usual understudy may get bumped to chorus or not hired...and so on and so forth.  There are also a slew of actors that are not considered for the show because of compatibility issues with Mickey. These actors don’t look “right” being cast alongside Mickey, or look too much like Mickey or don’t look at all like Mickey.

In all of this, talent has little bearing. What does have major bearing is marketability.

America (you) loved Mickey Matsumora on “U. S. Coach Potatoes Are Bored with their Lives and Think They Have Talent.” Producers and investors are literally banking on the fact that people will pay to see their telephone vote live and in person. Can Mickey really sing? Or act? Or dance? Or sustain an 8 show a week schedule? Doesn’t matter. Mickey will be used to get The Musical as much press as possible and generate as much word of mouth as possible. There needs to be butts in the seats to keep a show running and Mickey will bring in those butts.

All of this can leave Broadway trained and/or credited actors searching for jobs outside of their domain. The Broadway performers who lost the opportunity of work because of Mickey Matsumora being cast, will be hired to do shows in the larger, higher paying regional theatres. What theatre would turn down the opportunity of marketing their show with someone from any Broadway production? The regional actors, and there are people who make a good living just working in regional theatres, are then displaced. This ripple effect continues right on down through the proverbial theatrical food chain, leaving people trying to get a foot hold on the ladder of theatrical success, potentially out of work.

We all know the process of casting a show is rarely as cut and dry or as straight-forward as I’ve stated it. There are a myriad of twists and turns and deals and swaps that happen. The point is that an ambitious person will capitalize on every opportunity given to him or her. The career you want is out there. Mickey Matsumora has it. You, the dues paying constantly training actor, gave it to him all wrapped up like a Christmas present each and every time you tuned in and/or voted for him.

Your career is like a child. It needs to be taken care of, loved and at times disciplined. As the “parent’ to your career, you must provide every opportunity for your “child” to grow and flourish and come into its own.  Any real parent will tell you that. And every real parent will constantly help to mold their child’s future.

So go make your “child” do some homework so he or she can have a chance at a paying performing job:

 

     Stop watching people sing on reality shows and go learn a song.

     Stop watching people dance on reality shows and go take a dance

     class.

 

     Stop watching people on reality shows and go take an acting class, or

     an improve class.

 

Care about and focus on your career, not Mickey Matsumora’s. Tell your child to turn off the TV and “Go outside and play”, a phrase I heard a lot from my dad while growing up.

You see, my siblings and I had great parents. They took an interest in our lives and in our individual development. They made sacrifices so that their kids, not the Matsumora kids two houses away, would have every opportunity possible. Our holidays were overflowing with gifts and with love. When we stopped believing in him, we’d find the coolest Christmas presents still came “from: Santa”. My dad would let Santa have the glory while it was he who worked tirelessly preparing for our holiday and preparing us for life.

Not much has changed throughout the years. Every Christmas my gifts to my family are delivered late. As you come to the end of my gift to you, the opportunity to knowingly support your career without unknowingly supporting someone else’s, you can see the tradition continues.

The only difference is now on Christmas, I won’t find my dad sleeping with the television on...