Wouldn't you like to know what's going on in my mind...

 

Seba’s wild and crazy and loves to do just about anything fun and safe. We met while doing Miss Saigon in Germany and then Joseph... We became very close friends. We call each other “schwes”, which is derived from a German word for sibling.

Seba’s been working none stop ever since we met. Right now he’s on a cruise ship as a singer. The ship's changed its route from Scandanavian ports to New York City. This provided an amazing opportunity to reconnect with him outside of the cyber world. It's been 15 years since we were in the same city.

On the other side of the country my bestie Thurston is working in a regional theatre. He’s doing three major book musicals in rep for 6 months. He got the job when he came to NYC for a 9 month audition stint to judge where his career was and if he was still theatrically viable.

I guess he found the answer to that question.

As an actor your job is to constantly audition, network, and attend classes and lessons, read plays and see new shows. It's the only way to stay viable in the industry. This is a full time job. Being hired is a perk of that job and all the hard work that has been put into “studying your craft”. On top of that you have a ”money gig” which allows you to do all of it (or most of it depending on theatre ticket prices) while you’re not performing.

Actors essentially have 2 full time jobs. When both are done properly there is little time for much else. Many parts of “normalacy” are missed out on, like weekends and nights free, a majority of holidays and a vast number of familial celebrations. The grind of the city can, well, grind you down. It can whittle away your sanity and your well-being until you’re doing nothing but work work work, be it based in theatre, that “money gig” or both. All the while Life keeps on rolling.

There is a little more leeway while pursuing your plans of success in the Arts. For example you can choose whether to take unpaid time off from your “money gig” for your cousin’s wedding or finish stock-piling next month’s rent and credit card payments. Making too many of the former decision and you’re out in the cold calling that cousin for a bus ticket home. Too many of the latter could leave you bitter, exhausted and unfit for human company.

I tried to spend as much time with Seba as I could. We hit the bars and dinners and shows. I crammed him in-between all the other commitments of my Actor Life: class, lessons, work.  Seba’s a bit worn out from all the travel and performing. Besides that he doesn't really have a place to call home. He’s a highly social being. It takes a huge toll him when he’s not around the ones he loves. We talked a lot about the challenge of finding someone with whom to share this crazy actor’s life. His last serious boyfriend left him basically because they weren’t always physically in the same location.

I had a great time hanging out with Seba. So much fun. But I was worn out. Trying to do everything at once is exhausting. I needed to take a break. I remembered that Thurston was on the other side of the country. I'd never been to the state he was working in. I auditioned for a show at the theatre once. I've even had several friends work there. I wanted to see it for myself. So I decided to treat myself to a trip.

I had to make some choices and sacrifices in order to go:

So I took a week off from work. My job doesn’t pay for vacation time.

I took a week off from auditions. I missed one for a show that has a character that would suit me quite well.

And I took a week off from classes, lessons, the stress of being a working actor in New York City, and all my responsibilities, real and imagined.

The week was amazing. I spent most of the time laughing, being silly and openly flirting with anything that walked by.  I saw all three of Thurston’s shows, which were all really great. I ran into old colleagues and made new friends. I attended a Halloween dance concert and even asked someone out on a date. I stepped so far out of my comfort zone that I had no idea who the hell I was.

And you know what? You should do the same.

Step back. Step out of the picture. Step away from your pursuits and out of your comfort zone. Take a break from moving toward your goals and give yourself a moment to breathe and relax. It helps maintain a health relationship between you and what you love. It keeps you sane and happy and stops your head from exploding like in that horror movie "Scanners". And believe me when I say your state of being is very evident during an audition. In fact it enters the audition room about 5 seconds before you do. 

In the end it comes down to this:

Theatre will always be here. You may have missed an audition or two, but there are ways to circumvent that (more on that in another blog).

You can put in a few extra hours here and there to make up for the "lost" money when you get back.

And most importantly, maybe, just maybe you’ll gain a new clarity and perspective on the very things you stepped away from...

If you don't beleive me on any of the above believe me on this: moving forward to achieve your goals and dreams is work.  And you know the saying: All work and no play...

So every now and then go out and have some good old fahsioned “fun, laughs, good times…”