The way you grab me, must wanna get nasty...

This blog post is rated NC 17 for adult language and sexual situations...

It’s time we had “the talk”.

You may have started to notice certain changes. These changes could be happening with you or with your friends.  People are looking at you, or someone you know, in a very different way. More attention is being given to someone for no apparent reason. Well there is a reason. It’s so common place that it was even immortalized in a Broadway show: “I mean I had eyes. I saw what they were hiring”.

I knew Lester from acting school. I’ve written about him in the blog before. Lester was a dork who looked like an Amish serial killer. He wore plain dark clothes, had a simple haircut, glasses and a full beard with no moustache. He was silly and goofy and fearless. And he thought the world of himself. It’s a good thing too because the world thought nothing of him.

Now Lester, as untalented as he was, was cast as the lead in our school’s drama. He was a personal friend of the program’s director, a close personal friend. Don’t get me wrong, our director was friendly with everyone and everyone thought of him as their friend. However there was a group of guys who were obviously the favorites. They got everything and anything they wanted. Lester was one of them.

With all the late night drives home, and the gifts and the back rubs, the rumors flew.

I met Phineas when I was the assistant director on an Off Broadway show. I’ve written about him before as well. Phineas grew up in a military family on the west coast. He was more of an intellectual artistic child. Aloof and distant, he cultivated his talents. He plays several instruments, dances like a dream and has a beautiful clear high tenor voice. Phineas was a dork too. But he thought despairingly about himself.

One day it happened. Lester had his “I had eyes I saw what they were hiring” moment. So he decided to take his career in his own hands, or more specifically his appearance. While in grad school he took to working out and getting fit. He shaved his “Amish” beard off and got a pseudo trendy haircut. He also got contacts. His transformation finished just before graduation.

It happened to Phineas too, but he decided that there was nothing he could do about his situation. He didn’t go to school. He didn’t go to the gym or alter his appearance in any way. His self-esteem was so low that he thought it was pointless. He stayed on the west coast not auditioning or pursuing theatre at all.

Meanwhile Lester had developed. He looked like his ego: strong, proud and insurmountable. He thought he was on his way but he was getting nowhere in theatre.

Lester’s obstacle in landing a performing gig was his lack of product cohesiveness. His physicality went from dorky outsider to hot guy next door. However his personality remained dorky. Had he adopted the persona of the hot guy next door, the likelihood of him working in theatre would have greatly increased, regardless of talent. His dorkiness didn’t come through in pictures though. He excelled at being photographed. He just looked like a hot guy. The model agencies started knocking on his door. But something terrible happened.

The modeling agencies interest was stroking Lester’s ego, all the while the actual agents tried to stroke other things.

Being a model demands that the clothes fit. One has to be measured to make that happen. With men there is a measurement called the inseam. It’s the length of the inside of the leg, beginning at the groin.

Do you see where this is going?

That measurement on Lester was taken several times. Each time had a brush of the hand or the slip of some fingers. Again and again and again. Being new to the modeling world Lester thought this was de riguer for the industry. However it went against the morals of the dorky guy still inside of him. So he hightailed it out of there.

Phineas wasn’t going anywhere in his career. He simply wasn’t pursuing it. He lacked the nerve even though his dorkiness combined with his talent put him in a perfect position to book work. When he finally got up the nerve to make a move, something terrible happened.

His lack of confidence and initiative necessitated that that perfect position be horizontal.

Phineas wanted to be in a show. He wanted it so badly that he actually slept with the director...

...of a community theatre show...

...to be in the chorus.

Talk about low self-esteem.

Phineas’ insecurities told him this was perfectly acceptable to do. He may have even thought this was the only way he could be cast. I found out about it when he was practically bragging in the dressing room of the show I directed.

Some may shudder at the thought of it. Some may not know the history of theatre, where women, in particular, were perceived to be prostitutes. Acting is the second oldest profession.

Guess which one is first.

Those days are long gone but let’s face facts. Sex sells. If you don’t believe me just watch commercials. Everything in commercials is based on either sex or humor. The picture on this blog is an old ad for jeans. JEANS! You may not find it personally sexy or humorous but the powers that be do. And so the people behind the tables look for it and they hire it. This makes performers the biggest purveyors of sex and sexuality outside of the actual sex industry.

Performers can use sex and sexuality to our advantage. We get callbacks and gigs because of it. We get noticed by the press because of it. The world of performing opens wide if an actor is perceived to be sexy. In American standards a performer is hard pressed to achieve super stardom without being sexy, without being a paragon of masculinity or femininity. But it’s acting on that masculinity, femininity and perceived sexuality that’s not acceptable in a professional situation. Acting on it should never be a prerequisite for getting an agent or a callback or a job or keeping an agent, a callback or a job.

 Harvey Weinstein Is My Monster Too

Let me be clear: Initiating unwanted sexual advances with the promise of work is wrong. Initiating unwanted sexual advances in any situation is wrong. Touching of a sexual nature is not a legitimate industry standard. Period.

So what can be done?

First, an actor should be aware for whom they are auditioning. Research the agent, the company, the theatre, the living situation if it’s out of town and the management. If it doesn’t seem reputable it probably isn’t. Stay away.

But what happens when the job or casting director or project is totally legitimate, as with Salma Hyak and Frida?

This industry is small. The best source for finding information on these things is other performers. You probably know someone who has worked for that person or at that theatre. If not, you’re definitely connected to someone who knows someone who has. (You’ve heard of the game “Six degrees of Kevin Bacon”). Someone has been there. Someone has experienced it. Take what they say into consideration before making your decision.

I was offered a contract with a reputable theatre. Colleagues of mine had also been offered the show. They had done their research and decided it was best to turn it down. I decided to take the contract. I should have followed my friends’ advice because it was hell. Everything about it was awful, from the producers, to the choreographer, to the sound engineers to the wardrobe people. Everything. It was an awful experience. I took it because I was hungry for the work at the time. Much like Phineas, desperation clouded my judgement.

Secondly, take note of where and when the audition is taking place. The majority of major auditions happen during the day like 9-5, or 10-6, during the week. Think office hours. Reputable auditions can happen outside of those times however. For example Actors Equity AAA agent auditions usually start at 7pm and end around 10pm. They’re held at the Actors Equity office in Times Square.

Any audition that happens not in a rehearsal studio in Manhattan, on the upper west side or midtown, immediately flips a security switch within me. Add a nighttime appointment to that and I’m on high alert. I find out as much as I can about where I’m going and why. And how to get back (I have no sense of direction).

If you must go to some random audition for some random company in some random spot at some random time, go. But find an audition buddy to go with you. You can even ask a non-performer friend to come. Just have another person who knows you well along for the ride. There’s a reason people say “There’s safety in numbers”.

That being said I have actually auditioned at someone’s home, alone, at night and in a hotel. I had done my homework and deemed it a safe environment. But I made sure more than one person knew where I was going and when I would be back. I booked both gigs.

I’ve also walked out of an audition in a midtown studio at high noon because the work was offensive and the work environment did not seem to foster healthy development of the piece or an appreciation of my talents.

Removing the temptation and the opportunity for impropriety goes a long way to combat sexual harassment in the work place. Lester was right to leave the model fitting. He was right not to be in contact with that agent or agency again. However he never said anything to anyone when the incident happened. Which in my opinion is not right.

Recently there was, or still is, a flurry of speculation and accusation against theatre professionals. Agents, Casting Directors, Actors, Producers and people in every job description are being accused of impropriety, misconduct and sexual harassment. One of the major casting agencies in NYC has fired a casting director. It’s rumored that others in that office are on the chopping block. The agency has lost clients, multi-million dollar Broadway shows, because of allegations, some of them decades old. Careers are being ruined now and people are losing jobs now because of old indescretions. And not just the people being implicated. And that is not fair.

Had someone spoken up, made the accusations early on when the situation(s) in question first happened, perhaps innocent people would have been spared. Perhaps the support staff of the agencies, the backstage personnel of movies and shows, and their co-stars would have kept their livelihood today. Had someone spoken out, perhaps the next Kristen Chenoweth or Audra McDonald would not have internalized the harassment, destroying their lives. Perhaps the next Markus Schenkenberg (one of the world’s first male supermodels and cover for this blog) wouldn’t have become disillusioned with the “business” side of the fashion industry and left.

Perhaps the myriad of women allegedly abused by Bill Cosby could have been reduced to one.

So why didn’t someone speak up?

Performers are faced with the promise of becoming a star or the threat of never working again. Simply put, McCarthy era blacklists and the “You’ll never work in this town again” or the studio star makers era with the “I’m gonna make you a star kid” mentality, lives on.

There is not a human being on the planet that can stop you from performing, except you. That’s what happened to Phineas. He got in his own way. He let his own insecurities hinder his success. In truth, the director who hired Phineas was probably going to hire him anyway. His singing voice is not one easily replaced. But Phineas will never know that because he slept with him to get the non-paying, non-equity, community theatre job.

What lengths will Phineas go to in order to star in a Broadway show?

Listen, eventually you will be noticed. Someone responsible and upstanding will offer you work based on the merits of your talent. Maybe it’ll be your star making role, maybe not. But there are no short cuts. The road to success is long. It takes work and dedication. It takes research. It takes long countless hours of soul searching and product development. It takes integrity and morality. Sheer tenacity.

Lester continued his quest for work and validation of his inflated ideas of his talent. He left the east coast. He’s now balding and pudgy and does stand-up comedy in L. A. He's happy and his ego is as healthy as ever.

Phineas had moved to NYC from the west coast to pursue theatre. He was cast in my show because of his immense talent. Well, that and the casting director thought he was hot and wanted to date him. But the casting director never made a move. He thought it unprofessional to act on the attraction, even after learning about Phineas’ indiscretion.

Phineas now works as a waiter in a restaurant in midtown. He’s done a one man show but other than that I don’t know. I cut ties with him about year after the show I had directed closed. The caustic and self-deprecating energy was too much for me to handle.

Sex sells. But don’t let someone take it from you. And don’t give it away for a job or a career. If someone does try to make unwanted advances toward you or someone you love, please realize that it has nothing to do with you or your loved ones. Nothing. No one brings it on themselves, not even the overly endowed guy who only wore sweatpants and nothing under them to dance auditions. (True story) It’s not his fault if someone makes unwanted advances with promises of stardom. No one can blame the girl with the breast implants for someone else’s socially unacceptable, sexually aggressive behaviour.  

As victims, we should advise our friends and colleagues about what lurks in the darkness, what’s hiding in the wings. Publicly blast any situation of unwarranted unwanted sexual advances in the work place you've encountered. Use social media, Facebook, Audition update, Twitter or whatever other things you have in your viral arsenal. And if asked have the courage and fortaitude to privately reveal the details. This doesn't mean keeping it hush hush. Tell the unions (SAG-AFTRA, AGVA, AEA, AGMA). File greivences. File lawsuits. Because #TimesUpNow. Agents, Casting Directors, Directors, Teachers, Co-stars, Crew and anyone who traverses into the performing world needs to know that mixing business with personal sexual pleasure is not okay. That here, in the Business of show, there are no...

“...Blurred lines.”