Whose head is crowned with flames...

August was a special time in my family’s household. Both my mother and my father had their birthdays. The weather was at its second peak of perfection for the area. The first being autumn with its crisp air and changing leaves. And August signaled that autumn was coming.  More importantly as a child it was the time we took a family vacation up to Canada to Crystal Beach.

Crystal Beach was a magical place complete with an amusement park. Every year we kids would look forward to our trip. And every year it never occurred to us that this trip signaled the end of summer. School would begin in September and the summer fun was over. Learning and classes and homework would be on the schedule all too soon.

I went to a private Catholic university. It was so private and so Catholic that there were separate dorms for boys and girls. There was no visitation between the sexes. If a guy went to see a girl at her dorm he would have to check in at the front desk. Afterwards he would then wait for her in the lounge area. This was the only place the two sexes were allowed to be together. That’s how Catholic it was.

As part of the curriculum, every student had to take three philosophy classes and three religion classes on top of the usual university requirements and on top of the requirements for your major. I hated philosophy. It was so meaningless to me. It was just a bunch of people whinging on about “does life exist” and “to know an orange is to be that orange”. That last one was how a professor started the first day of class. I was like “Oh my god get me out of here”.

Needless to say I slept through most of my philosophy classes.

The religion classes however were a different story. I found them interesting. Okay honestly I found one teacher’s set of classes interesting. Dr. Sadkin taught us to dissect religion and to dissect the bible. We learned how to discern what would be our own personal truths through religion and its study. I’m not a very religions person. Spiritual yes, religious no. So I never thought these classes really applied to me and my life.

It wasn’t until years later that I realized even the classes you believe don’t apply to you and that you think you’ll never use in life can have some application. If you think outside of the box everything you learned in school is useable. It can be superimposed upon your life today to help make it easier to do anything from painting a wall to balancing your bank statement to raising children of your own.

At a private Catholic university, I learned that religion with its teachings and dogma can be applied to non-religious situations. In fact in our Theatre 101 class, at a private Catholic university, we had to write a paper comparing a religious ceremony to theatre, citing how they differ and how they’re alike.

My paper concluded that a religious ceremony and a theatrical production were one and the same. At times even the message was the same. That paper was written so long ago that I no longer have the stone tablets it was carved on...

Do you see where this is going?

At the basic level the Catholic religion can be boiled down to Ten Commandments. These teachings will help as a guide through any area of life. You just have to apply a little creativity and interpretation. This is something I learned to do at a private Catholic university.

So without further ado...

Ladies and gentlemen! The Ten Commandments of Professional Theatre:

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s role, thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s dressing room, nor his paycheck nor any thing that is thy neighbor’s.

This is the hardest of all commandments. Nearly everyone wants to be a star. Why else would there be reality shows, competitions and sex tapes. An actor should to be grateful for simply being involved in a production.

Based on the needs of the show, the actor has been selected to do a job. It’s the best one that fits both the actor and the production at that time. If an actor wants a different job he or she needs to hone those skills to get it. With experience and training come better roles, bigger dressing rooms and in the perfect world larger paychecks.

Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.

The director or choreographer or stage manager gives an actor a note. That actor explains why it wasn’t his fault. He or she then continues on to blame another actor, prop master, wardrobe crew, or anyone breathing for the screw up.

“TTNASU” (Take the Note and Shut Up).

If there truly is a problem bring it to the attention of those in charge. Let them suss out the situation. An actor may not know all the circumstances prior to the instance happening, therefore blame may be wrongly placed.

Thou shalt not steal focus.

If a play or musical is directed properly attention is placed on what actor/action is important for the audience, in order for the audience to follow the story or message. If that actor/action does not involve a particular actor, then he or she needs to give focus to what is important. It allows the story to unfold properly and the audience members to easily and quickly go on the journey the playwright has intended.

Thou shalt not date or sleep with thy fellow performers.

Ninety-five percent of the time romantic entanglements end. If it ends during the run of the show and it ends badly, that can spell disaster for the production. Remember, the fourth wall is just imaginary. Chemistry and energy flow between the audience members and the cast members over the footlights. No one wants to watch two romantic leads who personally hate each other. They may not know what’s going on but that energy, that tension can make it uncomfortable for the audience. Let’s not even get into cast morale.

Thou shalt not kill another’s dreams or aspirations.

Talent is subjective. What some may call worthless others may call pure genius. Therefore you are not the end all and be all purveyor of talent. Your opinion counts as merely your own. Keep it to yourself. Sometimes you will be pressed for critique by a fellow performer who you find lacking in talent. Rather than sparing their feelings by saying “Girl, you were up on that stage!” or being brutally honest with “Your voice is awful” give a concrete assessment. For example say “the high C at the end of the vocal run was under pitch”. It makes you seem like you were really invested in the performance and that you care enough to try and help.

Honor thy creative team and backstage crew. 

One person does not a show make. Not even in a one person show. There are a plethora of people who help contribute to what happens on stage including but not limited to the director, musical director, conductor, stage manager, sound tech, lighting tech, wardrobe, the running crew, the props crew, the ushers, the box office team and so forth and so on. The actor is not more or less important than any other person involved in creating or running a show. Everyone has an important role to play and should be treated as such.

Remember your day off and keep it holy. 

Because of the nature of performing, it’s typical to only have one day off a week. The singular day off should not be used to do the things that could have been done any other day of the week like grocery shopping, banking and running general errands. Use the day off to recharge your batteries, spend quality time with loved ones or go to church if that’s your thing. Broaden your mind, renew your spirit and rest your physical being.

It’s important to remember that not every Actor is privileged with being employed. When the “day of rest” happens, don’t proclaim it on social media thanking the universe and saying how much you’ve looked forward to/earned the day.  Because those actors not currently employed could see it as being ungrateful. And then negative energy is created and the focus of it is you.

Besides if you truly were that exhausted and in need of a break from the world, you wouldn’t be on social media anyway.

Thou shalt not take thy employment in vain.

If an actor is lucky enough and prepared enough and right enough to garner a contract it’s a special thing. It’s sacred. Treating landing a contract, no matter how large or small the contract or the role, like an everyday occurrence is ungrateful.

In case you missed the news, only about 2% of Actors Equity members are working at any given time as performers. Two percent. Any actor getting a contract has joined an elite few. These actors aren’t elite in talent or looks. They’re simply blessed that someone somewhere wanted to hire them to do something other than their day job. This should always be revered.

Thou shalt not make any graven image, or any likeness of anything that is not how thou looks in real life. 

An Actor worth his salt will tell you there are three things that can stall or kill your career. The first is not being prepared. This covers everything from an audition to a call back to a table read. Homework must be done. Without it an actor leaves a bad impression.

The second is a bad attitude. The actor and creatives have to work in a room together for eight hours a day six days a week during rehearsal. The people behind the table do not want to be confined in a hot sweaty space with someone who is negative, elitist, or an egoist.

The third thing that can stall or kill a career, and in some cases the most important and easiest to fix, is a headshot that does not represent what you look like when you walk through the door.

If an actor has been called in based on his or her headshot, the people behind the table believe this actor matches what they envisioned in their minds for the part. From the hair color, cut and style, to the clothing and over all feel of the picture. An actor has a hefty barrier to overcome if the real doesn’t match the headshot. After battling illness, nerves, clothing decisions, material decisions and prep, getting to the audition on time, getting mentally prepared, blocking out all the “chatter” around the audition site, blocking all the mental “chatter”, an actor does not need an additional thing to combat once that audition room door is open.

A headshot is a calling card, a still commercial for the product you are selling. If the people behind the table want to buy what you’re selling make sure that product is what walks through the door.

There shall be no others before me.

When I joined the Drama Club in high school I had no idea so many family traditions would end. My life was now filled with stage crew, rehearsal and shows. Then because of Drama club I auditioned and was cast in a summer performing troupe for children, The Experience Players.

The Experience Players toured New York State during the month of August. This meant no Crystal Beach. No last hurrah before school. My family still went. They just went without me. I was living the life of an Actor.

To live a life in the Theatre is all encompassing especially when you’re young, just starting out or just getting back into it. As a working actor, you will fore go many a family tradition, party, reunion, and all types of celebrations and holidays, including religious ones. All because you are a working actor.

Being a working actor means going to auditions, taking classes, networking, going to the gym, seeing shows, supporting fellow artists and generally trying to move a career forward. On top of all that an actor needs time to decompress with hobbies and recharge with “me time”.  We may think we can do it all. The reality is there are only twenty-four hours in any given day. An actor must make choices as to what to do and what not to do.

Anyone starting out on a career path in the Performing Arts, wanting to make the life long trek to their personal Mecca needs to be ready to make a huge commitment. An Actor needs to initially forsake all else: money, security, material things and even family. He or she needs lots of energy and drive.

Mostly an actor needs a thick skin, a keen mind and a hearty sense of humor. Without all of these things, pursuing a career in Theatre is like choosing to walk across the desert without any water. It can be deadly. It can kill your mind, your body and your soul.

Hopefully before all is lost in the black pit of despair, someone somewhere will say to the actor as I say now...

“Turn back o' man forswear thy foolish ways...”

...In the rich man’s world

As the summer season begins to draw to a close actors will finish up with their contracts. No matter how many contracts you’ve done, in stock, in the regions or on Broadway, the shows all eventually close (except Starlight in Germany. That thing’s been running for almost 30 years). Then an Actor’s thoughts turn to “What’s next?” After my first summer stock gig away from home I stared head on into the void of this question.

This was a new experience for me. I never had to decide what to do before. In the past I did what my parents told me to do. When I went away to school I did what my teachers told me to do. There was no choice.

Now I had options to weigh. Take another contract with the company, which meant working through the fall up until Christmas or do a show with the musical director I had just worked with, back in my hometown. Due to a lifelong fear of being stuck in suburbia, I chose to take another contract. I would be making $85 a week, instead of doing a Christmas show at home making $220 a week.

After that $85 a week contract ended, “What’s next” reared its ugly head again. At this point the question was at least partially answered. I was going home for Christmas. I was always home for the holidays. One of the hold overs from growing up under the reign of Emperor and Empress Dad and Mom. I didn’t mind though. I loved being home for the holidays. No place is more magical than my hometown during Christmas. However this holiday season there was a different kind of magic in the air. No sugar plums danced in my head. The only thing in my head was the thought of moving to New York City.

Three of my friends from University, Fred, Hazel and Lester had all moved to the city to go to grad school. Fred went to Columbia while Hazel and Lester went to NYU. I too had toyed with going to grad school, but decided I’d had enough of schooling. I wanted to move on with my life. Still I was jealous of those three for taking a chance and moving.

While I was home during this particular holiday season I was in contact with another alumnus who graduated with me, Contadina. She was working a regular job in the area. After much conversation we decided we would move to New York City together. We had a plan to conquer the unknown hand in hand, much like we did when we went to the NETC’s together and got our first away from home theatre jobs. The only thing we didn’t have was a definitive moving date. And that scared me.

As a child I knew I had to get out of suburbia. I hated it. It was boring, and everyone knew my family and our business. There was no anonymity, no escaping the drudgery of life there. Besides that my parents’ number two rule, number one being “you live in my house therefore you live by my rules”, was if you lived at home you had to be in school or have a job. Grad school was out. Having a job meant putting down roots. Putting down roots meant staying in suburbia. Not an option.

So I got nervous. And antsy. And impetuous.  After New Year’s Day I announced to the world that I was moving to New York...in two weeks. I called Contadina and told her of the plan. She said she didn’t want to go so soon. She needed to make more money for the move first.

So I left her in suburbia.

I had been to New York before, but on January 15 I came to the City with the intention of living here. I had three suitcases, two hundred dollars and just me.

Plane ticket $300

Baggage fee $50

I had contacted Fred, who was living in the dorms at Columbia. He didn’t have a roommate at the time. The other students in the quad had people stay with them, so he thought he could as well. He also thought it would be a great help if I had a place to stay for a while until I got acclimated to the City.

I arrived on a Friday. I quickly found I hadn’t fully thought the move through. I had a temporary place to live but I needed work to support myself. Two hundred dollars wasn’t going to stretch very far. Another friend of mine whom I had just performed with was already living and working in the city. He gave me the name of his temp agency.  I had some office skills so I thought office temp work would be a great fit. On Monday I went in for an interview and placement testing.

I started doing temp work right away. There were times however when I didn’t feel like getting out of bed. So I didn’t go into work. That’s one of the perks of being a temp. You can work or not work as you choose. However there was one time where I had no choice. I had enough money for one subway ride, after I had taken the quarters out of my loafers. So it was either go to work, make money and then walk home or go get the check, cash it and buy some groceries to eat.

I picked up the check.

Monthly NYC metro card $116

Food $20 per day (not including eating out or ordering in)

I also went to as many auditions as possible. Not an easy feat when booked for weeks at a time as a receptionist at Morgan Stanley, Price Waterhouse, Skandia America and the like. But I did book performing gigs. The “loafer quarter incident” came right before a two year stretch of constant performing work. That’s why I had come to New York to live and perform...and to use my new headshots.

Headshots have different looks and requirements depending on where you’re home of operations are based. No matter how great the photographer was back home, those pictures aren’t going to be on par with the ones from New York or any other major theatrical city.

Before my first stock job away from home ended, I was able to have my pictures taken by a cast member. I skipped having to search for someone. He was from New York City and a budding photographer. He knew that headshot world. My only task was picking two pictures and having them retouched. Then have the pictures set with my name and a border of some sort. Only then could I take them to be reproduced in mass quantities to be used at auditions.

Headshots $1000

My rent free time at Fred’s had come to an end. The University had gotten wind of all the unauthorized people staying in the dorm and pulled the plug on it. So I moved to a rent free stint at another friend’s place in Brooklyn.

After graduating with me, Jean had moved to the city for work. She had an entry level job at MTV. She was also auditioning and doing cabarets and shows. Staying with her only lasted a week or so. The guy who took my headshots had booked a show out of town and needed a sublet. I was in need of a place so it was a match made in heaven.

I packed up my things. With the help of Fred, Lester and Jean I moved from Brooklyn to Washington Heights...on the subway. It was an adventure. We still talk about it to this day. Unfortunately Hazel wasn’t around for this monumental move. Before entering her second semester at NYU, she decided City life and the life of an actor wasn’t for her. She quit school and moved back upstate.

Now on top of the monthly

Cell phone $120

came the monthly expenses of:

Electricity $100

Television $60- $200 depending on the provider and the package

Internet $30

I was subletting a furnished place. Everything was there that I needed. I didn’t even have to purchase sheets. Otherwise I would have had additional expenses. My friend Helga who moved to the City from Albuquerque was also living in a sublet. Hers wasn’t furnished. She was living out of free milk crates from the grocery store and a blow up mattress.

Furniture - $?

It’s a necessity for any performing artist to be completely connected to the web with a fast reliable system. These days everyone who’s been through school has some sort of computing/printing system. The system should be capable of video and audio recording, Skyping, printing good quality prints on a variety of paper and of course be wireless.

Laptop/Computer $500- $2400

Printer $100

Thanks to friends I had a place to sleep and a place to work. I had the materials for auditions. So as things kept rolling along I started to take class.

The Performing Arts do not exist in a vacuum. It’s a vast community of artists and teachers and networking. Moreover techniques in dance, voice and acting get rusty when not applied and exercised daily. An actor has to take some sort of class. Besides keeping up on the aspect of talent that’s the money maker, to be more marketable an actor has to expand and build on peripheral talents as well.

Monthly Voice lessons $400

Monthly Dance classes $400

Acting/Improv lessons $400

I was honing my skills, meeting people and making friends. We would go to auditions together. We would help one another out with leads on jobs. We would circulate information about apartment sublets and share which classes were good and which to avoid. My friend Arthur told me about an audition once. I ended up booking the gig. It was there I met Manuel who shared an apartment with another dancer.

Manuel lived on 187^th street. It was a one bedroom apartment.  The other dancer spent most of his time on tour so Manuel wanted someone to split the rent with him. I was finishing up two years of constant theatre work. I would bounce into town for a small stint and then it was back out again. I had no base of operations save my three suitcases. I was going to be needing a place to call home. So I moved in with the two of them. 

Manuel was subsequently assisting a choreographer on a theme park show which I auditioned for it and then got cast. All the people in the cast were wonderful and we became fast friends. We had so much fun that hot and wild summer. It was there that I met and became friends with Amir.

Amir was of German and Egyptian descent and he was beautiful. When he walked into any room, everyone stared at him, guys and girls alike. He had chestnut colored hair, olive complexed skin and the most amazing crystal green eyes. To top all of that off he came from money. A lot of it. His father would write a twenty thousand dollar plus check every semester for his university tuition.

Amir was graduating with a degree in dance. He was moderately talented. That’s to say he had talent but he was no more talented than anyone else. His dancing was fine. His singing was fine and his acting was fine. Like a good majority of people, he dreamed about moving to New York and being on Broadway.  So he made a decision that after he graduated he was moving.

Amir and I got along amazingly well. We had become such good friends that we decided to find an apartment to share when he moved to New York.

Very small Studio apartment $1300 per month

Broker’s fee $2500

Move in cost (first month’s rent and security deposit) $2600

However we were young performers with little to no credit history and an erratic job history. To rent an apartment we needed a guarantor for the lease. The guarantor is someone who is legally responsible for paying the rent for the length of the rental agreement if the signed lease holders are not be able to do so. That person has to make one hundred times the monthly rent of the apartment, have outstanding credit and limited financial liabilities. According to some brokers the guarantor also has to live in the tristate area, which consists of New York, New Jersey and Connecticut.

When I left home I vowed not to ask my parents for financial help. I didn’t want to put that kind of pressure on them. My two younger siblings would be looking towards college soon. I didn’t think my parents could financially handle that and me and their home and their cars and their lives.

Finances weren’t something we discussed in my family. We had everything we needed. And within reason we had everything we wanted. When we could afford some extravagance we had it. When we couldn’t we didn’t. The ways and means of middle class suburbia are that simple.

So in truth I had no idea if they could’ve financially helped me even if I had asked.

Recently on Facebook I saw a post from a former colleague of mine about this very thing:

"There is a drunk girl at a bar yelling that all people on Broadway have their rent paid by their parents. And that everyone that goes to auditions has their rent paid by their parents. #Delusional"

Amir’s dad ended up being the guarantor for the apartment. That didn’t make a difference for me though. Between the time Amir and I had worked together and his move to New York, Amir and Manuel had worked together. How it come about I don’t know, but they’d decided to find an apartment together. The other dancer living with Manuel and me was gone. This left me out in the cold, especially when I discovered Manuel had been forging a name on the lease.

But that’s a different story.

Amir moved to the city. He and Manuel got an apartment in midtown Manhattan. Amir proceeded to audition, take class and network. He didn’t have a day job. He lived off the dividends from the stocks his Grandfather had given him for graduation. Within two years he had a production contract on Broadway. A year later he got disillusioned and not only left show business but left the city.

Jean had worked up to middle management at MTV. She was still working on performing and actually booked a paying gig. Then the woman she was subletting from kicked her out. Jean didn’t like the instability of it all. She moved back upstate.

Contadina finally saved up enough money and moved to New York. Once here she didn’t have to work a day job to support herself. She proceeded to audition and take lessons. Before she went through the entirety of her savings she booked a performing gig. And another. And another. Six Broadway shows and countless regional and stock gigs later, Contadina’s still working.

That recent Facebook post:

"There is a drunk girl at a bar yelling that all people on Broadway have their rent paid by their parents. And that everyone that goes to auditions has their rent paid by their parents. #Delusional"

Continued on:

"...I guess she was in the business at some point but left because it was so expensive to take classes and audition...she yelled down the bar that she didn’t care if everyone here was a Broadway star “I know their parents pay their rent”...I’m sorry she didn’t have any success but people who did aren’t spoiled. They are probably more talented, confident, and driven."

As I look back on what I did all those years ago, moving to New York City with just two hundred dollars, three suitcases and refusing to ask for my parents help, I’m astonished that I’m still here. Out of my graduating class there are three who are still pursuing performing: myself, Contadina and Lester. Talent, confidence and drive only play a small part. Most actors leave the business because of the cost of living associated with Life in the Arts:

One-time costs:

Plane ticket $300

Baggage fee $50

Broker’s fee for apartment $2500

Move in cost $2600

Furniture $?

Monthly costs:

Studio apartment $1300

Metro card $116

Food $560

Cell phone $120

Electricity $100

Television $60- $200

Internet $30

Voice lessons $400

Dance classes $400

Acting/Improv lessons $400

Intermittent costs:

Headshots $1000

Laptop/Computer $500- $2400

Printer $100

Add it up. Multiply the monthly costs by twelve. Factor into the equation that only two percent of Equity members are working as performers at any given time. Then subtract the median income of those performers which is roughly $7,500...per year.

I’ve been in the city for some time now. Though the initial two hundred dollars and three suitcases are long gone I have survived and made a life for myself.

My friend Helga, who lived out of milk crates, and I ended up renting and furnishing an apartment together. She’s since gotten married and moved back to Albuquerque. Now it’s just my name on the lease. And all the furniture in this three bedroom apartment is mine.

It’s time to have new headshots taken. I’m making an appointment with a professional New York photographer. I’m planning it for the end of August or the beginning of September.

I cater and teach. I’m back to choosing between working, auditioning or going to class. I would rather be financially stable. But honestly no job these days provides true stability.

When both of my parents died, my inheritance enabled me to live for a few years without a day job. During that time I auditioned, took classes and lessons. This helped me book high paying high profile gigs.

I also booked high profile gigs with theatre celebrities while working 60-70 hours a week at a day job.

There’s no rhyme or reason. Having help from your friends, from your family and from your colleagues isn’t a crime. Doing it on your own is not a necessity. Planning and saving is just as good as winging it. Success or failure doesn’t depend on how you do it, just that you do it.

If you find yourself asking “What’s next?”  be prepared. What’s next could be a move to Chicago, LA, Toronto, Vancouver or New York. Understand that when you attack the “What’s next” question it should be unique to your life, your needs and your level of comfort. Do not try to follow someone else's trajectory. It’s imperative to know what you personally need to thrive. Maybe it’s money like Contadina, or familial support like Amir or massive help from friends and colleagues like me.

Any way you do it, surviving in the city of your choice is tough. There’s a lot of hustle, a lot of work and a lot of sacrifice. In truth no matter what you do or how you plan, where you come from or where you’re going, at some point in your life and career you’ll be just like me asking yourself "What's next?".

I now know the end game. Whether I’m performing in a big budget musical or schlepping to a survival job, "What's next" is always the same...

“...I work all night, I work all day to pay the bills I have to pay”.

Another chance to disapprove, another brilliant zinger...

June is Tony Awards month. And with the Tony Awards comes triumph and heartbreak. With this one night Broadway is shaped and molded into what it’ll be until the next wave of shows open. Careers are made and lives forever changed.

The Tony for best actress in a musical was a tough decision. You had new comer Leanne Cope, Beth Malone, Broadway legend Chita Rivera, and Stage Veterans Kristen Chenoweth and Kelli O’Hara, who had been nominated six times without a win.

By the way I secretly believe that Kelli O’Hara and Audra McDonald are the same person. I’ve never seen them in the same room together. And personally I think they look uncannily similar.

This year saw the first win for Kelli O’Hara, or Audra II as I call her. So I guess that would make this Audra McDonald’s seventh Tony win. You go girl!

Along with the Tony Awards comes the tirade of social media opinions. Everyone sounds off on which shows/people won, which shows/people should have won and which shows/people were snubbed. Heated discussions ensue. And then comes the backlash about the heated discussions. An old colleague of mine threw his hat into the ring with this Facebook post:

“Could EVERYBODY just for ONCE be grateful for what we do and the time and effort that people put in to create and do the Tony Awards ... if any of you arm chair critics were lucky enough to have landed one of these shows that were nominated for a Tony , I'm quite sure your posts would be of a different nature ... everyone's entitled to your opinion but REALLY ??? this is what we DO ... LOVE and SUPPORT people... LOVE and SUPPORT”

I recently went to a seminar about producing commercial theatre, mainly musicals, on Broadway. The reason I went was simple. I wrote a full length book musical. I want that musical to eventually be on Broadway. I know nothing about that aspect of the business, producing a show.

The composer of my show was out of town performing so I went to the seminar by myself. I had no idea what to expect. I just assumed it would be a lot of old washed up actors trying desperately to stay connected to the business by whatever means they could. I also assumed I wouldn’t know anyone there or have any connection to that part of the business. Well I couldn’t have been more wrong. 

The demographic of participants was varied. And yes it did include some very much older show business types. It also included some very young show business types. It included several current Broadway actors as well as new Equity members. In attendance were several people I personally and or professionally knew.

From across the hallway during a break, a Broadway actor and I immediately recognized each other. We squealed with delight, like actors do when seeing each other after a long absence. We hugged and then proceeded to catch up. Seeing her brought back so many memories.

The production we did together was the first time the rights for our show had been released. Our production was the first production of that show regionally after the Broadway run. It was being produced close enough to the City that a myriad of Broadway associated people came to see it.

This was a big deal for me. It was only my second Equity show. And it was my first professional experience being the romantic lead in a show, complete with romantic ballad. My bestie Thurston had been initially called back for the role, but he didn’t book it. I booked the role, after having been cut from the initial audition and then going to a subsequent call for the same role.

Ah those early innocent days of auditioning...

Recently I was in line waiting for an audition. There were about ten people ahead of me, including a woman directly in front of me and a young guy in front of her. The woman looked like she was a “broad”. You know the type: loud, boisterous, pants wearing, been there done that kinda gal who could kill you with one look. The guy was your typical young best friend of the boy next door: quirky-nerdy, nice, and sweet. wouldn’t hurt a fly. The monitor gave us the usual lining up in the hallway speech which includes being respectful of the other actors in line: be quiet, let people focus, don’t use your phones etc. So the three of us stood in silence with the others waiting for our individual turns to audition.

Slowly the line dwindled down. Now I was third to go in the room. Ahead of me was the broad and ahead of her was the young boy. The young boy, who was now at the door, next to go in, turned to the broad and said:

“This is my first Equity Audition. I don’t know what to do. Do I walk in and give them my picture and resume?”

I thought “there is nothing loving and supportive about to happen here...”

After one performance of my second Equity show I was on my way out of the theatre when I saw a friend of friend. He was one of the Broadway people who had come to see this first mounting of the show. I had met the guy a couple of times. I didn’t really know him. He didn’t really know me. As I passed him I said hello. He stopped me and said “Boy, you were up on that stage, just singing and dancing”. I thanked him and went on my way, happy that he seemed to like the show.

I found out later that the guy hated me in the show. He thought I was miscast and talent free. He wanted to not say anything bad about me or my performance so he said something nebulous and vague. He let me, a young boy next door, quirky-nerdy, nice, sweet green-horn newbie make a natural conclusion that he enjoyed the show and my performance. He was under the impression that he was being “loving and supportive.”

If the guy were truly being supportive and nurturing and loving he would have taken me aside and voiced his true opinion. Being a veteran of Broadway, I would have taken his words to heart. Perhaps at that point he could’ve suggested acting teachers or vocal coaches. But because he wanted to “be supportive of all actors and show love towards his fellow performers” he let me go on stage all the while believing that what I was doing on stage was crap.

I’ll never know if my performance was good or not. Does an actor ever? The New York Times liked it and so did many others. There were some who missed the point of my character/characterization and thus reviewed me badly. Or maybe they completely understood, agreed with my friend’s friend’s assessment and reviewed me properly. At any rate these people shared their impressions of my work, good or bad. It was then up to me, as a professional to heed or revel in what they were saying, or just leave it alone. They provided me with the opportunity to learn something about myself and my Art. I could grow as a performer.

I replied to my old colleague's Facebook rant about being loving and supportive...

"...Although I love and support theatre, since it's what I do, Theatre is a business. Do you think Bankers or Brokers love and support each other? No. What about real estate agents? Do you think they're all saying "Good for you Josh Flagg for selling another 20 million dollar estate"? No. They are sizing him up, breaking him down and dissecting him to see what he is doing that they aren't. The people with ambition will try and improve upon the "performance" and surpass it, fix what they see as imperfections and take it to a new height. They ready themselves to take his place. It's this that keeps businesses growing and changing. Artists do the same, except with rawer emotions. And this is what the Theatre needs to survive: growth and change. What I would say is that we as artists need to HONOR what each of us are doing as important and vital and necessary. Sure love and support what you truly care about, what ignites something deep inside of you what moves you, entertains you and delights you, But love and support just for the sake of love and support? Eh, not so much"

Being loving and supportive for the sake of being loving and supportive is counter-productive. It’s like giving baseball teams trophies for showing up. It diminishes the work of the team that won the World Series and devalues the World Series itself.

Some people believe that the Tony Award for best actress in a musical should’ve gone to Chita Rivera. She’s a show biz living legend. Chita’s like 107 years old. She’s been there and done that, and still does it better than anyone else onstage today. When she performs you can’t pull your eyes from her. She is a star and the stage lights up when she’s on it.  Just on principle alone the Tony award should have gone to her. That’s my opinion. And right now my opinion in this matter has no bearing on the outcome. I don't exist in that aspect of the business. And first and foremost Show business is a Business.

I learned in the producing seminar that the budgets to campaign for a Tony Award win are HUGE, like millions and millions of dollars. And for whatever business reasons, maybe because of the Tony campaign, the committee decided to award Audra II the statue. It’s not always about talent. But it is always about Business.

I later saw that friend of a friend, the "you were up there singing and dancing" supportive loving guy, in a show on Broadway. He was horrendous. And quite frankly it made me happy. The man had an amazing singing voice but he could not act. Not even a little bit. You’ve heard the expression “can’t act his way out of a paper bag”? Well this guy wouldn’t be able to act his way out of a paper bag even if a saber-toothed tiger ripped it open for him. 

I chose to say nothing about the show and nothing about him or to him. He didn't deserve my opinion and insight. He was not worthy of love and support. He didn't deserve to have an opportunity to better himself.

My opinion of his lack of acting ability was later validated. His acting was so bad that a condition of him being cast in another show was that he had to take acting lessons. At the end of the lessons the production/creative team would assess whether he would actually be cast or not. That’s good business: protect and hone your investment. That’s nurturing. That is being supportive. That’s a business professional caring enough about someone else in the business to not leave him in the dark about what's really happening. 

The broad and the young boy's interaction continued before he entered the audition room:

Young boy: This is my first Equity Audition. I don’t know what to do. Do I walk in and give them my picture and resume?

Broad: (very sweetly) No. The monitor has already taken in your picture and resume. You just simply walk in and say hello. Then go straight to the accompanist and give him your music. Make sure you give him a tempo. It’s really important to give him your tempo. You walk to the center of the room and signal to the accompanist that you’re ready to start. Then you sing.

Young boy: Thank you so much.

And with that the young boy opened the door and walked in, confident he knew what to do.

I have no trouble voicing my opinion. It’s mine and it counts only as mine. It’s as important as you’d like to make it or it’s as trivial as you believe it to be. I voice my opinion because I care. Hopefully it will give you new information or a new perspective to consider. Maybe it will even make you think about and asses your own views and why you have them. Perhaps it will stir you to educate yourself, hone your talents and better equip you for the world you want to live in. That’s love and support.

As I listened to the young boy sing his heart out, and he was awesome, I turned to the broad.

Me: I hope I’m not interrupting your focus time, but I wanted to say thank you for being so kind to that young boy. Not many people would have been.

Broad: Yeah, no problem. I didn’t have the heart to tell him none of it matters, not even what he sings, since they’re just sizing him up like a piece of meat.

"...I’ll drink to that!"

...a very strange reaction

Growing up I was an “inside” kid. I didn’t like sports. Tennis, football and basketball were where my brothers excelled.  I excelled in academics. I preferred drawing, reading or watching TV to going outside and getting dirty. I mean why get dirty? You’d just have to get clean again right?

At school I hated gym and abhorred swim class. So it seems natural that I was drawn to the Arts. And hence the Drama Club.

Unlike many drama clubs across the nation our high school did four full musical productions every year. They ranged from Two Gentlemen of Verona to Jesus Christ Superstar. The later was the first musical I would ever be in.

Jesus Christ Superstar, is as you may have guessed, about the last days of Jesus and his twelve disciples. For a high school to mount this show was a huge undertaking. First the Drama club had to get permission to do the show. Secondly they had to get enough high school guys to be in it. The production calls for at about 20 males, many of whom need to have excellent singing voices and acting ability.

I could neither sing nor act. Lucky for me I was guy number 18. I was in. Guy roles number 19 and 20 were played by girls. Little did I know what was in store.

Every day we would have to run directly from our last class to the auditorium for rehearsals. We’d sit down and jump right into learning music. Then jump up and learn choreography and blocking for the music. We did this every school night until almost 11pm. Then home to do our homework, sleep and jump up the next morning to do it all again.

Because our productions were entirely student run, from stage management to light board operator to set builder, on the weekends there was no rest. We were required to do stage crew. There would be no more watching Saturday morning cartoons and reading for me. No more being a heady intellectual. I had to lift things and hammer things and saw things.

During the school year I was a busy bee.

When school was out for summer there wasn’t much to do. I would ride my bike to a friend’s house and we’d hang out. We'd watch TV, play a game and generally complain about being bored. So when I heard about the opportunity to audition for a summer youth theatre program, I jump at the chance.

Every summer the town I grew up in would try to provide activities for people. It was aptly named “The Experience”. There were art shows, ethnic festivals, and tons of crafts. During the Experience there was a musical theatre youth group who did performances. They were called “The Experience Players”.

The Experience Players were run by my high school Drama Club director John Eckler. The company auditioned in April and began rehearsing shortly after the last high school musical closed. During the summer the players would perform a half hour to 45 minutes of musical theatre singing and dancing. There were two sometimes three shows a day. The performances took place in a concrete amphitheater outside the convention center and in a grassy area in one of the state parks nearby.

I wanted to be an Experience Player so badly. Only the best of the area got picked. I had to learn a song to sing, solo. I had to be prepared to learn a dance and do some acting improvisation. All of which I started working on as soon as the auditions were announced.

However I couldn’t sing. Everyone told me I couldn’t sing so I knew it to be true.

I couldn’t act either. I mean I had never done it so how could I do it?

I did have natural dancing ability though. I couldn’t pick up fast (still can’t) but I could do the steps and look like I was having fun at the same time. This is something guys from my area weren’t very proficient at. They could sing like birds and dance Ballet like the best, but musical theatre dancing was a concept that eluded them.

Musical Theatre guys who could dance were needed for the Experience Players. And again I was in.

The Experience Players was part of a state wide arts program. We were connected to the festival scene throughout New York State. Every August the troupe would set out on a tour of the state. We’d leave our home town and drive around in a recreational vehicle, with our camping bags and costumes. For two weeks we‘d travel throughout the state sleeping in host homes, in recreation centers, gyms and camping sites.

We’d stay in most places for a day maybe two. We’d do our performance on stages, in grassy areas, in parking lots, malls, on marble staircases and in county jails.  Then we’d hop back into the RV and drive off to our next destination to repeat the whole process.

I was lucky enough to have done this every summer of high school, including the summer before going to college.

In college opportunities expanded. In addition to the theatre singing and theory classes, I now had a half hour voice lesson every week.  Every week I would come in and the teacher would do a 15 or 20 minute warm up. We’d then work on repertoire for the final ten minutes. Here I could learn to sing.

We had jazz and tap and ballet classes. They were taught at a studio off campus. So we’d have to carpool it down into the town. Some of those classes were at 8 am so we’d literally roll out of bed and pile into a car like circus clowns. We’d get to class change and begin class: the warm up, then center work, then across the floor. Afterwards we’d squeeze our sweaty bodies back into the cars and drive back to the university for our next class.

Sophomore year the class load was so full that we would go from 8am until 4pm without a break. We’d then have a half an hour before the next class started which went until seven. Then we’d go straight into rehearsals. We'd jump in and learn songs, choreography and blocking. Just like high school.

The university schedule was no big deal to me. After high school I was used to it. The running around jumping right from one thing to another was old hat. Through all of it I was learning, especially singing. I wasn’t making leaps and bounds of progress in honing my skills though. I wouldn’t understand why for several years.

After graduating from University I did Miss Saigon in Germany for three years. Then I went directly to do Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat also in Germany. Both had original creative teams and all the original choreography, which was fun and exciting. This made Joseph... like a two hour aerobics class, especially with the dreaded “mega mix”.

The mega mix was the final number of "Joseph..." It basically recapped the entire show from start to finish in 10 minutes, complete with full on singing and dancing. To help get through the mega mix and the show itself, I was taking ballet and jazz classes that were being taught by other cast members. I was also taking voice lessons from Michael Mills, the boyfriend of the Artistic director. Dance classes were free. The voice lessons we had to pay for and boy did I get my money’s worth.

Before I had come to Germany I was studying with a famous voice teacher from L. A. He was known for helping people increase their vocal range. At the time I was struggling to sing an F above middle C, a true baritone. I was tired of all the tenors getting preferential treatment because they could hit a high C. I heard musical directors and choreographers say to guys during rehearsals after they’d screw something up “Oh don’t worry about it. You can hit a high C”.

This infuriated me. I couldn’t hit a high C. I was four notes away, but surely I could get closer than an F. For those of you who may not sing or play an instrument the notes that I’m talking about go in this sequence with each letter representing a note and each note getting higher as you move left to right:

middle C D E F G A B C D E F (where I was singing) G A B high C (where the tenors were singing).

I increased my range to a G with lessons from L. A. guy and practice on my own with his tapes. I gained one whole step up. When I was cast in Miss Saigon I took his tapes to Germany with me to continue the work. I hoped lessons with Michael Mills at “Joseph...” would accentuate and compliment that foundation.

Michael’s lessons were much like lessons at University. I’d come in and we’d warm my voice up. However, unlike school I now had an hour long lesson. More time was spent on actually warming up. Then we’d work on some piece of music to add to my repertoire.

The same old same old. And still no high C.

Michael was a very popular teacher so his schedule was full. Once the only free time he had to teach a lesson was between shows on a two show day. So after doing two hours of aerobics and singing my heart out (I played “Judah”, who sings “Benjamin Calypso”) I went to my voice lesson. We warmed up quickly and then went on to singing a song I had been working on.

At the end of my lesson he invited his next student, who was also in the show, to come in and listen to me sing. When I had finished the other actor complimented me as did Michael.

“You sound great.”

“Thanks.”

“Why don’t you sing like that in the show?”

I quickly made up some excuse about being in character and blah blah blah. But that wasn’t it. I had no idea what was different.

Through later conversations Michael came upon the fact that I didn’t warm up before my voice lessons. I relied on warming up with him during the lesson. When I walked in I wasn’t ready to sing. He told me that having my voice ready from the second I entered the room meant we could make quicker progress not only to singing a song, but in stretching my range.

This was a new concept for me. Up until this point I had spent most of my theatrical life running from a day job to lessons, or from academic class to rehearsal, or going from an RV to performance. I never warmed up for auditions, vocal or dance much less lessons. There was no time. I just jumped in head first and prayed for the grace of God.

I was young and resilient. I could sing and dance anywhere. It didn’t matter that I didn’t warm up. Nothing ever phased me. Singing in a barn? No problem. Dancing in the rain? Sure. In high school we even tap danced on concrete. Consistently. I’ve had no consequences from that (as of yet knock wood).

I did warm up before performing though. In non-equity companies, and some companies outside of the U.S., there is usually some sort of physical and vocal warm up at call time. These vocal and physical warm ups before a show are group warm ups. Group warm ups of this kind don’t address much in terms of individual needs. And they sure don’t help stretch your range.

I had gotten through a physically demanding show like “Joseph...” because I was going to dance class before the performances. I had been a little boy who drew and read books. I didn’t have any knowledge of what it took to do physical activity. I was a little boy with a boundless imagination. I didn’t know what it took to maintain physical activity. Thinking can be exhausting but not like manual labor, that muscle aching, drenched with sweat exhaustion. And that's what "Joseph..." was.

Unbeknownst to me I was using the classes to physically warm up before hitting the stage. But I wasn’t doing the same for my voice. And it was suffering. It wasn’t breaking down like the bodies of those dancers in the “Joseph...” who weren’t going to class or warming up but it wasn’t growing or progressing either. Singing a high C was just not in the cards for me.

No one had ever suggested warming up before a voice class.  After this revelation Michael also deduced that I had outgrown my L. A. guy warm up tape. Together we made two new tapes, one when I wasn’t feeling well vocally and the other when my voice was healthy.  I used one or the other of these two tapes before every lesson with Michael. Slowly but surely my vocal range started to move.

Today I consistently sing a high B flat. That’s two and a half steps above an F, where I started and a mere step away from a high C where I need to be. If you remember that scale I showed earlier it now looks like this:

middle C D E F G A B C D E F (where I was singing)  G (where L. A. guy helped me get to) A B flat (where I sing consistently now) B high C 

Can I sing without warming up? Sure. Anyone can. But it won’t put a performer at the peak of his or her ability for that day. I know that first hand. I lived it. Now I can hear and feel the difference in my singing when I haven’t warmed up enough.

 “Practice makes perfect”. The thing I missed was that you have to be ready to practice before you can ever hope to come close to perfection. For high voiced male musical theatre singers a consistent healthy high C is perfection. My high C’s are happening in lessons and are becoming more and more common place.

This increase in my range is possible because I am physically built for it, coupled with a smart caring teacher. Michael Mills nurtured me and my voice. He told me to always warm up before doing any kind of singing. Now I’m vocally warming up before every show, before every audition and before every voice lesson. Sometimes I warm up just for fun.

And I still use the tapes he made for me.

I can now vocalize to a D flat. A high freaking D flat. That’s half a step above a high C. And all I keep thinking while I'm warming up is...

“...Higher baby. Get higher baby. Get higher baby and don’t ever come down!”

.

I think I'd better think it out again...

In 1999 I lived in a Germany.  At the time there was one major producer of musicals with one casting director and one musical director. They all knew me. They knew what I could do. They knew what show I was currently performing in and how valuable I was (or wasn’t ) to that production. Feeling a bit frustrated and under used I left the country. I moved to New York City seeking out more opportunities.

No one knew who the hell I was here. No one knew what I was capable of, talent wise.  I wanted to find classes and teachers. I wanted desperately to meet  hundreds, no thousands of industry folk and generally get my name out there. In other words network. Naturally the first place to start is at auditions.

When I’m not acquainted with people I can be a bit shy, so networking doesn’t come easily to me. Unless someone speaks to me first I generally keep to myself. Kind of the anti-thesis of networking.

Anyway, I was so concentrated on trying to make my name the household kind, the things I truly needed slipped my mind. When I left Germany I was in the middle of orthodontia. In NYC I didn’t know any doctors, much less an orthodontist. One day I was standing in line waiting to sign up for a time slot (it was an EPA). The guy in front of me who was my type almost exactly turns to me and says “Hey I have braces too. Who’s your orthodontist?”

We chatted for a bit and I told him my situation. He loved his orthodontist and recommended him. After I had gotten my audition time slot I called the doctor and made a consultation appointment.

My doppelganger and I also talked about classes. He had been in the city for a while and had what I thought was an insider’s scoop on what was going on. He spoke of something called “Actor’s Connection”, a very unique class experience for the time.

Actor’s Connection was one of the very first “pay to play” groups in New York. An actor would join the group. He or she would then be sent a listing of all the classes they were offering. The list included who was teaching the class or seminar, where they were from be it a casting agency or a talent agency, and what to prepare in advance. And how much each class cost.

In these “classes” Actors were given an opportunity to meet with, talk with and audition for industry personal for a price: “Pay to play”. Each class had a different vibe depending on who was moderating it and what they were looking for. This sounded exactly like what I was looking for: a no pressure situation to introduce myself to the people behind the tables.

So I joined Actor’s Connection. I paid my money and started searching for an agent, convinced that was what I needed. Back then an agent was something only the elite of the show business world had. If you had an agent you had access to a world of things no common actor did. You had someone who believed in you and your career. An agent was someone in your corner, a show business wing man so to speak, who helped promote you and your talent.

Most of the seminars I attended at Actor’s Connection were formatted the same.

There would be a group question and answer session. During this any actor could ask the agent anything they wanted to know. It was during one session I learned that there are three things to never ask an agent:

How big is your agency?

How big is your client list?

Do you have someone like me on your roster?

If you’re seeking representation from an agency you should already know its size. That information is listed in publications an actor can buy, along with the address of the agency, the agents and their divisions (stage, screen, commercial, voice over, literary) and whom each division represents age wise.

An actor who asks an agent any information that is easily found is an actor who is unprepared to meet with and/or be represented by that agent.

Each client an agent represents holds the potential to make the agent a 10-15% commission off the actor’s salary. Asking an agent how big is their client roster is almost the same as asking a lay person “how much money do you make. Don’t do it. Talking about money to someone other than your intimate friends is still considered impolite.

Asking if an agency already represents clients like you is unnecessary. As one agent put it “If I had clients like you I wouldn't be talking to you right now”. That’s not necessarily true. If there is a type of actor that is currently hot, an agency will stock its roster with that type of actor providing all of their current “type du jour” are out working. It's all about making money and the more people an agent has out working the more money the agency is making.

The classes for Casting Directors ran the same format but the important questions changed:

What do you look for in an actor?

What can an actor do to increase his chances of getting cast?

What makes you not want to hire an actor?

Again these questions aren't quite right. The scope is too broad. In essence most of the casting directors had the same answer for all three questions...

What do you look for in an actor? Someone who is prepared and knows what he’s doing.

What can an actor do to increase his chances of getting cast? Be prepared with not only the material but for anything that may be thrown your way.

What makes you not want to hire an actor? The actor not being prepared, not making choices and making excuses.

Not very helpful. That’s because the questions need to be more specific and pointed to what casting directors actually do. They cast shows based on their personal preferences.

Do you prefer and Actor dress up for the audition?

Should an Actor stick to the guide lines of audition material or should he think outside the box?

Do you prefer an Actor to be animated or still while auditioning?

I continued with the ‘Pay to Play” scenarios and with making acquaintance with other actors. One actor I met told me of this fantastic class he took with an agent. This class was a 6 week audition class meant to get you ready for, well, auditions.

The actor couldn't speak more highly of this class and this agent. He just gushed on and on. Finally I was resolved to take her next session. In terms of Theatrical instruction most actors are looking for someone to help them to the next level. Something new something different and something wonderfully life changing.

As was the case with Henrik.

Henrik was a guy a class ahead of me at University. He was an American of German descent. He would go around singing “Deutschland, Deutschland uber alles”, which as I understand it now was in the German national anthem until after the war (yes that war). Henrik was blessed with typical Aryan good looks. He had height and talent. More striking was the fact that he had a gorgeous Irish tenor voice. His rendition of “Danny Boy” made everyone cry and his singing of “Come to Me, Bend to Me” was effortless and soaring.

Henrik felt the voice teachers at University had taught him all they knew. So he went in search of outside instruction. Through word of mouth he found a new voice teacher. He would now have to pay out of his own pocket for lessons.

After his first couple of lessons he was walking on cloud nine. The things the teacher promised him were exactly what he wanted to learn, in terms of technique and repertoire. So Henrik stopped taking voice lessons at school and started studying with this new outside teacher exclusively.

Most classes here in New York City are limited in how many students can attend. Sometimes it’s dictated by law. You find this happens with dance classes: the room can only accommodate so many bodies. And sometimes it’s by design. The teachers or studios want to give individual attention to each of their students so they cap the number of attendees based on the curriculum and what the class requires. It was the same with this fantastic class I had heard about from the Pay to Play colleague.

When the class was offered again I immediately signed up. I didn't want to be closed out of the class. I wanted to benefit from this agent’s knowledge and teaching. And of course I wanted to make a good impression in hopes of being represented by her.

The first class we were asked to prepare a song of our choice and provide our picture and resume, which I did. One by one each student got up and sang their choice of song. The agent discussed the actor’s song choice and resume. She even went so far as to say what roles and shows she saw each actor in.

When my turn came I sang my song, which was “On the Street Where You Live”. At the time I was perfect for the role of “Freddy”, the misused love interest in My Fair Lady. When I finished the agent said nothing about my song choice right away. She went to my resume and named three shows she could see me in. She named the only three ethnic shows I had on my resume.

The agent then moved on to discussing music with me:

Do you sing any R & B?

No.

Do you sing any Gospel?

No.

Well you really need to decide if you want to be in this business or not.

And that was the end of my first of six weeks with this agent. It never got any better than that first day. In fact it got worse.

Every week I would learn a new song. Every week she would give me nothing to go on but the fact that I wasn't giving her what she wanted. And what she wanted was for me to “be black” and all the stereotypical aspects that are associated with it.

Every week I would leave more and more frustrated because this “teacher” wasn't teaching me anything. She had nothing of valuable to contribute to my growth as an actor.

One week one of my classmates got up and sang a song perfect for him. The guy was 6’2” with thick wavy jet black hair, olive skin and a muscular build. He looked like “Gaston” from Beauty and the Beast and he sang Gaston’s song. The agent gushed over him and I thought rightly so. It was a great choice for him and he sounded amazing with his deep full manly baritone. The agent then went on to say, based on him singing Gaston, that the guy was right for “Curly” in Oklahoma. He looked a little puzzled but went with it.

It was at this point I knew the chick was a charlatan who had stolen my $400, at a time when $400 was like $4,000 dollars to me.

Then I just didn't care anymore. The check was cashed. There were no refunds. So I went into class and did my thing and she did her thing and never the two did meet. By then end of the six weeks, even the class accompanist was wise to the abuse the agent was giving me. He apologized for the class and her behaviour. He then gave me the name and number of a teacher who could actually teach me something and contribute to the betterment of my career.

I called that teacher up and luckily he was starting a new four week session. I joined over the phone sight unseen. Two days later I walked into another class just as eager to learn and willing to spend money to do it.

Henrik went on studying with his outside voice teacher. He was so enamored of the prospects the teacher promised that he didn't notice his voice being ruined. He would come into University classes and rehearsals hoarse and tired. According to this new “teacher” this was part of the process in building Henrik’s new voice.

And ladies and gentlemen that’s bullshit. At this point in your life you know the difference between when something hurts from working outside your normal scope of action and when something’s just physically hurting. 

No matter what anyone says, do NOT do things that physically hurt you. If there’s ever a question in your mind as to which pain you’re feeling stop doing whatever is causing the pain immediately. You need to assess the situation and address the cause of the pain. Because by the time he graduated from University, Henrik had lost half an octave of range and the clarity of his Irish tenor sound. Not to mention almost all of that “ping” a true tenor has. His voice was destroyed by the very teacher he went to for help in fostering his talent..

He literally works as a salesman in Florida now.

After my first class, the new one that was recommended by the accompanist, the teacher pulled me aside and gave me some advice that I had never heard before. He said “You should have audited my class first, before paying out your hard earned money. It may not have been a good class for you”.

Auditing a class prior to taking the class to see if it's a good fit was a new and radical idea. Before this I had only taken the classes that I was told to take by people I trusted. Unfortunately trust and integrity are rare commodities in New York City

I knew I had found something real and helpful. This new teacher had integrity. He was teaching not for the money but for the passing on of knowledge. He was earning money doing it, sure. But don’t we all want to earn money doing something meaningful, something we love, something connected to our Art?

I studied with this guy for six years.

As for the agent/teacher from the hell seminar at Actors Connection, she’s since retired from being an agent. I wasted my money on her because I took the advice of someone without doing my part to investigate. I suffered through six weeks of mental anguish because I couldn’t wait. Had I audited the class I would’ve seen some red flags. That would have caused me to stop and take stock of what was happening and being said, helping me to determine whether I should take the class. Or not.

This former agent is now a casting director. Whenever I see her name associated with a project I stop and really think about what could happen. I weigh what I went through against what I could gain. I always come to the same conclusion: I won’t go near her. I won’t audition for anything she’s associated with, and that includes a recent pre-Broadway show.

Am I shooting myself in the foot? Not really. Sure I may not get a chance to audition for a potential Broadway show. But as far as she’s concerned I would never have a real chance at being cast anyway. She doesn't understand who I am and what I do. So why should I subject myself to more torture and abuse? If there was something I was dying to do, a part that screamed my name and she was the casting director for it, I would make it happen.

There are ways around Casting Directors...

My quest for name recognition in 1999 missed the mark. However I did gain a lot. I gained an awesome teacher with a vast knowledge of music and musical theatre. I gained a great orthodontist. One whom I investigated prior to him doing anything to my teeth. An orthodontist who knows show business and what its demands are. And I gained knowledge that I can impart to other actors, both aspiring and professional. The biggest of which is this:

It takes time to make good proper connections that can advance your career. It takes time to locate good teachers who will help you and not hurt you physically or psychologically. And that time is spent investigating every detail of the connections and of the classes. Otherwise you end up wasting time and hard earned cash like I did.

I learned my lesson the hard way. Now with every new and possible advancement in show Business, whether it's a new class, a new connection or a new show...

...I’m reviewing the situation.