Thursday, December 29, 2016

More than you could ever know...




For my family, Christmas time started soon after we finished eating all of our Halloween candy (which was usually the day after). This may sound early to some, but considering the fact that we spent many a Halloween in snow boots and parkas it seems fitting. Besides, there were five kids in my family. We had to get our letters to Santa early because this was a big stop for him.

After the sugar high settle from our ghoulish festivities, our attention turned to the TV. You see back in the “olden days” we didn’t have Roku and Apple TV and DVRs. We had no choice but the watch commercials. Which was a good thing because they provided us with a plethora of Christmas gift ideas to add to our letters to Santa.

Growing up our parents taught us to be independent and to develop our own interests. And nowhere was it as apparent as in our Christmas lists. There were five of us, and our age difference spanned more than twenty years.

By the time I was forming memories, my oldest brother was already graduating from college. I have no idea what his list looked like.

My oldest sister had all the big ticket items on her list, like 35mm cameras and equipment, and jewelry.

My youngest brother had all the nerdy stuff covered, microscopes, computer games, chemistry sets.

My youngest sister had the longest list. Whatever she saw she wanted. Her list at times was three pages long.

I was the artsy crafty one. I got paint sets and art crates and macramé projects. And clothes. I always got clothes. We all got the basics for Christmas: underwear, socks, t-shirts, pajamas, sweaters. But my clothing haul was always bigger than everyone else’s. And I loved it cause I love clothes.

Somethings never change.

On Christmas morning, our house looked like a department store exploded and all the wrapped presents landed under our 9 foot Christmas tree in the living room. My Dad had the exhausting pleasure of handing out gifts and then taking out big black garbage bag after garbage bag full of used wrapping paper and boxes.

As we got older we graduated from seeing our potential gifts from Santa on TV, to seeing them in the Sears catalog. (For those of you who don’t know what the Sears catalog is, ask your parents). This opened a whole wonderful word for writing our Christmas lists. Here things weren’t limited to what was popularly merchandised and commercialized. In this book was everything anyone could ever imagine, or so we thought.

Picking what Santa would leave us under the tree somehow got more difficult with this book. There were so many options. Soon we clued in on something that would help. Santa used a formula. If you didn’t follow the formula, your Christmas could be disappointing.

First there was always one big ticket item per child. For example, my youngest brother asked for and got a computer. Then we would each get two or three mid range items and several educational gifts, like books and puzzles. There was always tons of family friendly things, games and activities we could all do together throughout the year. Always got the undies. There was always a bunch of other things we got that was fun filler. We gave each other gifts, which could be from the list or totally off the grid. I usually went off the grid. And Santa did as well.

Every year Santa left each of us a gift or two not on our list, specifically tailored to each individual personality. Those gifts were special. It meant that Santa was truly watching us. One year I got a Game Boy and cartridges, and another year Dungeon and Dragons books. Both of which I still have today.

And that was pretty much how the system worked until we became young adults.

As we grew up our lists got shorter and shorter, except for my youngest sister. Her list seemed to get longer each year. And each gift on the list got more and more expensive. Some of the last presents I got from “Santa” included a sofa and a microwave. And of course underwear. At this point I made the deduction that my oldest brother had probably been on this sort of “present plan” since I was a toddler.

Then one year after we had all entered adulthood it stopped. Instead of presents we were each handed an envelope. We were told to use the money to buy whatever we wanted for Christmas. The only thing we had to do is to let our parents know what we bought. And in one fell swoop the Christmas list was killed off. Instead of our parents picking and choosing and shopping, each of us had the autonomy to pick and choose and shop. If I saw it and wanted it, I bought it. Merry Christmas.

No list required. No pre-thought needed. No sticking to the formula. No undies.

I didn’t have to think about what I wanted every year. I had no planning to do. I could just go with the flow. It may sound silly but that’s when things started to fall apart. Not having to write a Christmas list every year, not having to sit down and think about what I wanted bled into other aspects of my life.

I’m an organizer. I make lists and plan and deduce and execute. But here I was learning that I didn’t need to do that. I mean Christmas still came without a list. I still celebrated without a list. So life could go on without making lists.

For several years I’ve been going with the flow, doing whatever jobs come my way. I’ve been letting other people dictate what is happening in my career, both on stage and off. And what has happened is I’ve been in a string of less than good artistic situations. That’s not to say they have been lacking of talent and vision, for the most part, but that they’ve been at best lateral moves and at worse giant steps back for me. (If you’ve been reading the blog, you’ve read about some of them).

I’m not where I want to be and not having a plan is why. I’ve not sat down and definitively said what it is that I’ve wanted to do, where I’ve wanted to go. I’ve not done it for quite some time now and it’s taking its toll on me mentally, physically, and emotionally. I’ve only just realized that failing to make a list, in terms of career advancement, is failing for me. 

So this New Year’s Eve I’m going to sit down and write out what I want to do with my career, where I want to be and how I’m going to get there. I’m going to write a list, a Christmas list, if you will, filled with all the presents I’m going to give myself in 2017. It’s the only way to get what I desire: plan.

My siblings and I are full grown adults now. The family has exploded exponentially with wives and children and grandchildren. We live in different places. We no longer exchange presents unless we are physically together celebrating Christmas. Otherwise it’s just too expensive and exhausting. Yet when we do celebrate the holiday together guess what we do. We make lists. How else are we to edit the myriad of things available to give each other as adults?

The principle is the same in a career. How can you decide the best course of action in getting what you want without actually knowing what that is?

I encourage you to join me in list making. Sit in a quiet space. Think about where you want to go in your career and your Life. Decide where you realistically want to be in five or ten years and make a plan to get there. Work backwards from that point in the future, from that Tony award in ten years, to today. Write down what you need to do every year, every month, every week, and every day to make that goal happen.

And then do it.

That’s what I’m going to do before this holiday season ends and throughout the new year. Then next year at this time I’ll be my own Santa. I'll check that list. I'll see that I followed the plan. And I'll have given myself the present I wanted: a career on track to achieve my goals. Then after I buy myself some new underwear, I'll truly be able to say I got...


"All I want for Christmas..."

Wednesday, November 30, 2016

Fight and sing fortissimo...




It’s that time of year again. The leaves are changing, or changed depending on where you live. Mother Nature is decked out in her most fabulous colors. The air is crisp and the sun, while still as bright, does little to warm us. We begin a myriad of celebrations and holidays here in the States and throughout the world.

This is traditionally for me one of the busiest times of the year. And it all began back in high school. Ok not really. I guess I’ve always been a person who does projects. So much so that my mom, whom you've all met or at least read a little about through my blog, nicknamed me.

When I was little I was always doing something, so I’m told. Truth is I have no recollection of my younger enterprising self. Apparently I couldn’t keep still. One reason for this could have been my intense desire to leave my home town. The only memory I have is from when I was about five years old. It was summer. I was in the back yard playing. My dad was barbecuing. As I sat in the grass I looked up at my dad and said “I want to be an archaeologist when I grow up”. Apparently being an archaeologist was the most amazing thing there was. They got to discover mummies. And mummies lived in Egypt. And Egypt was far from the suburbs of Buffalo.

At any rate my mom nicknamed me “Stevie Bee” because I was always busy, like the proverbial bee. And my name was Steven back then.

It was this time of year that I joined the Drama Club in high school, at the request of my mother. She didn’t specifically say “join the drama club”. But in the tenth grade she did force me to join a club, any club, for my college applications. I had put it off until finally the Drama Club was the only club looking for new members.

My mom was always looking forward. I guess she had forgotten about all the other clubs and organizations I was in or had been in. The list includes the Boy Scouts, the Junior Achievers, the Lions Club, the Honor Society, and the Yorkers, which was a club that studied the history of New York State. The Yorkers worked year round on a historical project that was relevant to their particular area of the state. It was presented at a yearly convention. The host city of the convention changed every year, so every fall I was off to another New York State city and away from home.

Don’t get me wrong, my home life was pretty sweet. The only thing I had to do was get good grades, a few household chores (which I was given an allowance to do) and be a kid. In my parents’ house being a kid meant you did what you were told, obeyed the rules or you would be punished. Plain and simple. And my dad always said “If you don’t like it leave your key on the kitchen table, take the clothes on your back and say good bye.”

My dad and I never really got along. We were two very different people. To hear my mom tell it, we didn’t get along because we were the same person. I always scoffed when she said that.

You see I loved theatre and my dad hated theatre, well musical theatre anyway.  And musical theatre was where my passion would eventually lay. I can still remember when that passion was solidified.  I had joined the Drama Club. I volunteered to be an usher for the fall musical. I stood in the balcony waiting for the show to begin, not really knowing what to expect. As the curtain rose I became riveted to the stage and what was happening to the characters. I had seen the movie about a hundred times, much to my dad’s chagrin. But nothing could compare to seeing The Sound of Music live.

This is also the time I had my first real crush on a girl: Raffaela Pullo. She played the “Baroness Else von Schraeder”. I thought there was no one more beautiful or strong willed or talented than she was.

I knew then that I had found my place, my “home”. Unfortunately the real life home was none too thrilled. I bucked every tradition my family had, from eating every dinner together, to finishing homework far in advance, to just basically not being around, not even to help with the chores. My mom was unhappy with the situation and my dad down right hated it. In fact he and I didn’t speak to each other for a long time because of it.

I don’t remember exactly when, but my mom finally came around to the idea of me being in theatre. We made compromises that kept both of us happy. For instance I could miss eating family dinners because of rehearsal during the week, but I had to be home for Sunday dinner every Sunday, no questions asked. No get out of jail free card. She and my Grammie came to see every show I was in.

My dad on the other hand, only came to see one of my shows in high school. My senior year he came to see A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum. It was only because my younger brother was also cast in it. I went through four years of university with him never coming to see one production I was in. And I graduated with the second longest bio of my class. (Still keeping busy). To me it seemed he wanted to squash my dreams just like he did when I wanted to go to art school, but that’s another story.

After University I moved to New York to pursue theatre. It was after the holiday season much like this one and after I had turned down a job that would have had me performing in Buffalo. My mom was against me leaving town. I thought my dad didn’t care either way. Before I left he gave me a sort of warning:

“The world isn’t like home. They’ll see you as something different. Opportunities for men like you are far and few between”.

When I was joining Actors Equity, I found out I had to change my name. I asked both of my parents for help in picking a new name. None of those family names seemed to feel right. I finally settled on Evan Edwards and started using it immediately.

My mom was really sick as I was traipsing around the country doing shows as Evan Edwards. So I would call home every week. I made a point to talk to both my parents. And they both only had “parent-y” things to say. You know what I mean. I’d ask what’s new and the answer was always “Nothing.” They talked about inane things like the weather and the other things small town folk talk about. It was during one of these pedestrian conversations with my dad that I got the shock of my life.

“Boy, I’m upset with you”.

“What happened?” I was scared. I had never told my parents about my sexuality. They had known about my first crush, Raffaella. It and others turned out to be more of the “talent” kind than of the “physical” kind. I guess someone had let the cat out of the bag. “What did I do, or not do as the case may be?”

“How am I supposed to tell my friends about all the fantastic things you’re doing? They’ll never believe me and I can’t prove it. I can’t even point to your name in the program and say that’s my son”.

I promised him from that day forward I would always put my real name in every bio of every program.

As I climb up the ladder and build a career for myself I see dad was right. Opportunities for men like me are far and few between. Don’t get me wrong. They exist. It just takes a lot more effort to find those people behind the table who are willing to provide those opportunities. But true to my nickname “Stevie Bee”, I keep busy.

In the last couple of months I’ve produced a concept album of a new musical theatre piece. I wrote the book and the lyrics. I also sing on it. This was my first time in the recording studio as a solo artist. The project consumed my every waking moment.

I read a role in a public table read of a new play. The show is great. It’s about an Italian-American family. The role I read is that of the son/brother. It’s fun and very me.  I’d love to play it.

I assisted the producer and founder of New Camerata Opera on their inaugural production. It was The Count of Luxembourg. The company doesn’t have a space so it was performed in a rehearsal studio. They rented costumes and had musicians and even provided subtitles (the libretto is in German). My job title was associate producer.  In reality I just ran around the city like a mad man trying to pick up the little things that no one had time to do. All the singers in the show were also producing the show, doing all the backstage tech work and publicity. It was a huge endeavor because none of them had previous experience doing any of it.

I’ve been writing a new non-musical play. It’s been in the works for about ten months now. It’s a huge time commitment to just sit down and write. I have to filter out all the distractions and be in a quiet place both mentally and physically. That’s not easy with the holidays.

During this magical time of year, something happened that threw much of the country into a depression. We had our presidential election. Not only that but we proceeded to elect a man who is a liar, a thief, a letch, a misogynist, a homophobe, and a racist.

A friend of mine posted this on her wall on Facebook in response to a video connecting racists to the president-elect:

“...half [of] white America is so mad. Y’all had no idea this was the country you live in & are outraged (as you should be). But to be clear, this video is not all that surprising and your new outrage is my “good morning time to brush your teeth” RACISM HAS NEVER BEEN COVERT TO ME. It’s just a little less so now. People now get that a portion of this country sees me and all my ancestors (the unpaid ones included) as worthless no-contribuers. [Sic] Enough so that many folk are standing up, taking notice & getting angry...”

Things are happening in in our country. Some are good, some bad. And things were happening in my life as well.

The concept album arrived six days ago. After long delays, scheduling snafus and completely unreadable CD artwork it is finished. It looks and sounds great.

Money people are talking. A production of the play about the Italian-American family could be in the works. When it does get produced I’m doubtful I’ll be cast...hopeful but skeptical.

My new non-musical play, about a group of gay friends and their relationships is about three quarters written. I’ll have a first draft done by year’s end.

I warned New Camerata Opera’s “artistic director” about what could happen. She didn’t want to hear it. And what could happen did happen. Their first production was a mess. There was a blatant lack of direction, vision, follow through and general professionalism on the part of virtually everyone involved. This was a project I should not have been involved with. I knew it and I did it anyway. I mean I had to keep busy. So I threw my reason out the window. And I paid the price for it.

When I read the program I noticed my bio had been edited. There was no need to edit it since there was plenty of unused space. Someone somewhere decided that what they didn’t understand or deem important needed to be cut. It was a hack job extraordinaire. But what infuriated me was the fact that it was done without my approval or my knowledge. For the first time in twenty odd years my real name, Steven Hamilton, was absent from the text. My promise to my dad was broken. 

Soon after I was privy to witnessing families on stage. I saw two Broadway shows. Both deal with family dynamics. Both shows center at a festive occasion. They both reminded me that the relationships within a family are tricky to say the least.

The Humans takes place during a Thanksgiving dinner. It centers on the things families have to deal with, both secrets and the protection from them. Falsettos centers on a young boy’s bar mitzvah and a family dealing with the father’s not so secret homosexuality.

Being in theatre I was the black sheep of my family. It made me afraid of telling my parents I was gay. I mean they had gotten used to the theatre thing but being gay was different. It was something I didn’t think they would deal with well. It wasn’t about them cutting me off monetarily. When I left for New York City I had vowed not to ask for money from them. I had to prove I could make it on my own. Only once did I have to ask. I was on tour. I was broke and our paychecks were delayed. My parents were so proud I hadn’t needed their help before then. They were more than happy to give it.

In my head being gay was strike three. It meant I was too different from them. I would be disowned. I’d no longer be a part of the family. So I never told them. But it seemed they suspected it. My mom would drop not so subtle hints about guys she knew who were gay, I guess she was hoping to open a conversation. Whenever I did or said something that was considered questionable, my dad, ever the jokester, would laugh and say “Is there something you want to tell us sport?” Much later I found out that my parents had discussed the question of my sexuality with my older brother.

Neither The Humans nor Falsettos have a truly happy ending. But when you think about it neither do we. We all die. And sometimes that death has nothing to do with the physical being.

The results of this year’s election scared me. I mean I was literally afraid of going outside, of walking the street, of being out after dark. The media, both social and otherwise, was full of the unleashed hatred of people who were losing their grip on dominance, decorum and sanity. I was a prisoner of my fear and a captive in my own home. One day I re-read my friend’s Facebook post about the outcome of the election. I paid particular attention to the last line:

“...half [of] white America is so mad. Y’all had no idea this was the country you live in & are outraged (as you should be). But to be clear, this video is not all that surprising and your new outrage is my “good morning time to brush your teeth” RACISM HAS NEVER BEEN COVERT TO ME. It’s just a little less so now. People now get that a portion of this country sees me and all my ancestors (the unpaid ones included) as worthless no-contribuers. [Sic] Enough so that many folk are standing up, taking notice & getting angry. But my life is no different than it was last month. This ain’t new. My feelings just have some company now is all...”

Her truth is that the election hasn’t really affected her on a day to day basis. And when I thought about it, truly sit down and pondered the situation, other than my self-imposed exile, it wasn’t affecting me either. I remembered the words of my dad: “The world isn’t like home”.

At home I was “Stevie Bee”, always trying to stay busy with projects. I was always doing something I loved to do.

At home I ate slept and breathed theatre. I loved performing and creating something from nothing.

At home I was respected. My opinions were valid, and listened to, as long as I could back them up with fact.

At home everyone knew about me being gay. And they still loved me.

I had always wanted to leave home and my family, even back when I was five dreaming of being an archaeologist. To me it seemed as if the world was a beautiful place. And its beauty was just for me. Now I know that “home” is something you take with you wherever you go. And my dad, in his own way, tried to give me advice and fortitude. “It has nothing to do with you. It’s just how the world works.”

Dad was right but screw that.

Screw those people behind the tables who won’t hire me because of their prejudices. I’m gonna show up at auditions anyway. You don’t hire me? Your loss.

Screw the people who want to take away my right to equality. You may be able to keep me down but you can’t keep me quiet. And no matter what you believe you can’t stop me from loving who I love.

And screw the people who say I can’t do something. Because you know what? I can. And will.

Both my parents are dead now. I miss them terribly but understand that death is the ultimate part, the inevitable part, of Life. Death is the one part of living that no one escapes regardless of who wins a Tony, who gets married and who is president.  The entire country could benefit from realizing that.

In truth, most of the world could benefit from what my parents are still trying to teach me about my passion, be it men or theatre. 

We all need to keep...

“...learning love is not a crime.

It’s about time. Don’t ya think?”




Wednesday, October 5, 2016

Don't single me out then forget me



The summer has come and gone. The days are dark and gray. It’s far closer to cold and snow than sun and sand. It’s a hard time of year for me. I always struggle to keep motivated, to keep forging ahead in my career and life.

It’s October. At this point the fall auditions have pretty much finished. There’s a smattering of auditions for next year’s summer seasons. Generally those auditions are for a theatre’s full summer line up. Most of the larger companies will have subsequent auditions for individual shows. When those auditions come along an actor can hone in on and prepare for a specific show or role. I find for me, a young(ish) character actor it’s better to wait and be specific.

Dance classes fill back up with actors returning from triumphant summer work. Most of the smart ones save as much of their salary as they can. That way they can avoid going back to a day job, at least for a little while. I’ve been trying to get back to dancing which is my first theatre love. However my day job requires me to be on my feet for nine, ten, fifteen hours at a time. Hence I’ve developed plantar fasciitis, which makes standing difficult and most dancing nearly impossible. I’m taking care so I don’t have any long term problems. Dancing has to wait.

I am thankful for my day job though. It affords me the possibility to live in New York City. I’ve been with this one company for ten years. The best part about them is that I can take a leave of absence for up to six months to do a show and still have a job when I come back. The challenging part of the job is not the work, but waiting to be recognized for my contributions. When that happens I’ll get a promotion, which is the only way in the company to get a raise. I tried fighting to get recognized and got nowhere. I have to wait until my boss gets over his personal insecurities and sees what I actually bring to the company.

Social circles tend to form around work or a shared experience. As an actor our work and shared experience is doing a show. So it's natural that’s where our social circles come from. It’s where we meet new friends, hang with old friends and make potential love connections. I spent much of this summer in town and without a contract to do a show. And I'm single.

Outside of that social circle, meeting someone in New York City gets a bit more difficult and a lot pricier. One date in NYC will set you back about fifty to seventy five dollars. And that’s just for a movie and snacks. A mixed drink at a bar can run anywhere from ten dollars to twenty five dollars, depending on the location and popularity of the bar.

Love doesn’t cost a thing, but every date starts at the ATM.

When that promotion at my day job comes through, and it will come through, I’ll be able to work a little less. And make more money. Then not only will my survival job allow me to survive, it will allow me to venture out into the world of dating. Until then, I lie in wait.

I’ve been saving up a little money each month for new headshots.I’ve found a great photographer, who is relatively inexpensive. I’ll probably need to purchase a couple of things to wear for the shoot. I’ll wait until after I shed a few more pounds. Then I’ll do both.

My gym membership sits unused because of sore feet. Well that and the fact that I don’t have a pair of sneakers to wear. I discovered that my sneakers were part of the problem that caused the plantar fasciitis. I figure on waiting to heal before purchasing new ones. So I ditched sneakers for some really cute Kenneth Cole driving moccasins this summer.

But summer is over.

I’m aware of that as I make excuses for not going to auditions.

I'm aware of that as I procrastinate on getting new headshots.

I’m aware of that while missing out on classes, which is making me miss out on the joy of doing something I love.

I’m aware of all of this as I struggle to get out of bed each day. It’s taken me a moment but I’m now aware that the sun has been covered up by clouds for a while now. And that's the core of my problem.

While living abroad in Germany, I’d become very depressed. There were a lot of things happening to me and around me but they weren’t the cause of my depression. The lack of sunlight was. You see Germany has very dull and gray weather for most of the year. We used to joke about having our “week of summer” and running around like mad men trying to enjoy it. With a little research and honest self-discussion, I diagnosed myself with Seasonal Affected Disorder.

S.A.D., as it’s aptly acronymed, affects people during the change of seasons, most notably going into the Fall and lasting through the winter. It’s a depression that some think is literally caused by lack of sunlight. It zaps your mood. It zaps your motivation. In extreme cases it can cause suicidal thoughts and be the contributing factor to suicide itself.

I learned that countries with longer winter and less daylight have a higher instance of suicide. I also learned what non-drug treatments were used to combat the issue. In some northern countries children are given phototherapy during the school day. Special lights that mimic the light coming from the sun are used. Children sit under the light for an hour each day during the winter months. Studies have shown a decrease in self-inflicted fatalities during the long winter months in those countries.

You may ask yourself what this has to do with theatre and the performing arts. Everything. It has everything to do with it. We are our product. Our bodies, our minds, our creativity are what the people behind the table are paying for when hiring an actor. If our mind is preoccupied or lacking in focus it will distract from the job at hand making the product subpar.

There are outside forces that can derail an actor from pursuing his or her goals. Anything from people to a day job to the weather can be a distraction. Controlling these forces is not always an option. Recognizing them and combating them is. It’s about taking care of yourself physically and mentally.

Everyone lacks motivation now and then. Everyone goes through thoughts of changing careers, of depression for not getting the gig or just a general ennui for the Business. That’s expected. And we get through it. What’s also expected is that an actor knows him or herself well enough to discern when something else is going on inside. We’re taught to know the difference between good pain and bad pain. 

The good pain is when you’ve worked a little harder than the day before. You’ve stretched yourself just a little further than you thought you could, physically and or mentally. The payoff may not be immediate but good pain shows you progress. Good pain keeps you motivated to continue.

Bad pain is when you’ve over stretched and over worked yourself to the point of injury. Bad pain stops you from doing the things you need to do to further yourself, like the plantar fasciitis I now have from my day job. Bad pain, both physical and mental, leaves you unable to function.

There was an audition this morning for a role I’ve been told by some people behind the table that I could play. Yet I didn’t go to the audition. Lately I’ve been unmotivated. I’ve been sleeping excessively and lacking in energy. I’ve been putting off doing a myriad of other things as well, like classes, lessons, dating, laundry, and writing this blog. I’ve realized what’s happening. It’s all simply because it’s gray outside.

And now I’m taking counter measures to take care of myself and put myself back on track.

I’m sitting under a halogen lamp doing phototherapy. Halogen bulbs are the closest thing on the market that mimics the light of the sun. They cost a bit more to operate than a traditional bulb. The effects for me are well worth it though. My spirits are lifted and I feel better both physically and mentally.

I’m writing this blog after three weeks of putting it off.

I’m on my fourth and final trip to the laundromat.

I vocally warmed up and went sang through some music.

I’ve made an appointment to have headshots done in November.

And plantar fasciitis be damned, I dragged my lifeless carcass into dance class and had amazing time.

I feel alive again.

Art is something that’s born within you. As performers if we’ve lost our motivation, our drive, or our desire to perform, we’ve lost a major part of who we are. Take the time and energy to assess what’s going on inside of you. Shine a light on which external forces are negatively effecting your journey. Then take positive steps to fight back. Otherwise you could end up like I was, sitting around listless not doing anything but...

“...waiting for life to begin.”


Thursday, September 1, 2016

Up the steep and very narrow...




I have a lot going on this summer. I’m recording a concept CD for a new original book musical called McGurk’s Suicide Hall, a fictional account of actual events, which I wrote. Not only did I write it, but with a plethora of multi-talented artists, I’m singing on it.

Oh yeah and producing it.

Producing a CD is a full time job.

I’m also writing a new straight play. The first draft is about two-thirds finished. Part of it is being presented at a writer and actor collaborative called The Playground Experiment, which I belong. It meets twice a month. And with a guy I met there, I’m working on beginning a collaboration for another new musical.

I’m the assistant director for a new straight piece, one I didn’t write. It’s being performed in a new works festival here in New York City.

And a day job.

So I’m pretty busy. Why I decided to get back into dance class at this time is beyond me. But I did.

Dancing is how I first got into theatre. I guess really it’s my first love. Where I’m from everyone sings. Everyone. However outside of Ballet, the men don’t dance, or at least didn’t when I was there. I had a natural rhythm and a willingness to have some fun so musical theatre dancing suited me. It was my “in” to getting cast in shows. And for me musical theatre dancing naturally progressed to tap.

Most of what I learned about dance came from one source. That’s not to say I had one teacher. It’s just that one of my teachers seemed to teach all of the other teachers in the area. She danced with stars like Fred Astaire and even taught legends like Michael Bennet. The woman was known simply as Miss Bev.

Miss Bev was a force of nature. I have no idea how hold she was when I started taking dance from her. She seemed to be a bit up there in age but that didn’t matter. She could tap up a storm and when she demonstrated chaine turns in class she never missed a beat whipping off her glasses as she sped across the floor faster and faster.

Miss Bev was from the old school, the disciplined. No matter where she went, she never left the house without her make up on. When her age advanced she still got dolled up every day. Sometimes she didn’t realize that her false eyelashes were on upside down. All she knew was that she had them on and she was ready to go.

She was sometimes insulting and sarcastic. But she was never Abby Lee Miller abusive. Miss Bev knew how far to push you and just what to say to you to get the desired effect. She never broke anyone down. People did break down, but that was out of the frustration of hard work and the belief that what was given was less than what Miss Bev deserved.  In fact Miss Bev gave it her all to make sure everyone looked good on stage even if, as she put it, they had “a dangling participle” during a pirouette and that a dancer needed to use his “other right foot”.

So here I was back at square one in New York City. My first class I was late. Here you have to rely on the subway to get around. And the subway is many things, and anything but reliable. Luckily I made the cut off. Studios in NYC have a cut off time. Each one is a little different, but essentially if a student misses too much of the warm up he or she won’t be allowed into class. It’s an insurance thing for them I’m sure, but it’s a safety thing for the dancers.

Studios also limit the number of students allowed in class based on the size of the room. That’s a legal thing for them and again a safety thing for the dancers. Popular classed tend to fill up fast so signing in early is paramount.

But I wasn’t early so I ran to the men’s room changed into my dance clothes, took off my watch and ring, turned off my cell phone put on my shoes and ran down to the studio. I waited for an appropriate time to enter the room. In this case it was the point where the teacher changed the music after the first exercise. I caught his eye walked into the class put my things off to the side, well out of the way of any dancing. I went to the back of the room and found a place where I could see myself, a little piece of mirror to call my own.

Then dancing ensued. Since it had been awhile I made sure to take a class lower than my perceived skill level. I was starting all over but I had the knowledge needed for the class just maybe not the memory or the physical ability. Dancing is like anything else in the Performing Arts: You don’t use it you lose it.

Most teachers have a set warm up routine. I didn’t quite remember this one so I had to kind of keep an eye out to follow those who did. Naturally I looked to the dancers in the front of the room. I found that several of the people there were below the skill level for the class or didn’t know the routine. Miss Bev would not have been happy.

I struggled in the back of the room, not because I couldn’t handle the class, like some in the front. I struggle to see myself in the mirror. People kept moving around. And I know what you’re going to say: “It’s a dance class of course people kept moving around”. But there’s a natural flow to a dance class. And people were not flowing.

If a set of steps moves you to the right, to accomplish that set of steps again you reset back to where you began, the left. You dance forward you reset back. When the teacher initially reverses the direction of the steps, you don’t reset because the steps themselves will reset you back to where it all began, your space.

Where you’re standing in class is your space. You always return to it. After an exercise, after barre work, after breaking down into groups to do a particular traveling step, you go back to your space. And especially before the teacher begins the combination.

It’s surprising how many dancers don’t do this. And in the past when I was younger this would piss me off to no end.

I’m a big guy. You can’t miss me. So when someone is dancing in my space it’s a total lack of awareness on their part. Or obnoxiousness. Reader’s choice. So I would just hit or kick the person, while doing the combination of course. I’d never really hurt the person, just smacked them enough to let them know there was already a body occupying that particular space. I’d apologize and keep going. Sooner rather than later they would get the hint and move.

Now it’s me who moves. You want that space? Fine, have it. I’m a big guy with a big presence. I’m confident that the people watching can’t miss me.

We learned a combination and tried to perfect it as best we could. After each group did the combination I clapped for them, no matter how good or bad I thought they were. It’s polite. It’s the right thing to do, though hardly anyone else was doing it. It’s called good sportsmanship. One of the many professional things Miss Bev taught.

There is a professional etiquette that should be followed while taking dance class, or any class really...

1. Be on time. If you’re late ask for permission to enter the class or wait for an appropriate break in the action.

2. Be prepared for class. Wear proper shoes and clothes. Remove all jewelry and any objects that could potentially harm a fellow classmate.

3. Turn off your cell phone and stow you things far from the dance area. 

In New York City this means on the floor against the wall or in the cubbies on the wall.

4. Claim you space on the floor and in the mirror. Always return to that space unless the teacher instructs the class to switch lines or positions.

5. Clap for anyone demonstrating an exercise and after each group has finished dancing a combination.

6. Never ever sit during class. It’s disrespectful to the teacher. If you are feeling unwell, let the teacher know and excuse yourself from the room.

7. Only stand in the front of the room if you know the teacher’s style and the class routine well. 

Otherwise stand in the middle or rear of the room. Let those who are knowledgeable and skilled class regulars be in front.

8. If you’re new to New York City or new to a particular instructor, always take a class lower than the level you were taking at home or from other teachers. 

You may be a wonderful dancer but you aren’t aware of a new teacher’s style, warm ups or routines. (See number 7)

9. Dance in your own space and according to how much space there is in the room. 

I tell the children I teach to stretch their arms out straight and slowly turn around in a circle. If they touch someone they need to spread out more. In NYC that isn’t always possible so a dancer needs to contain their movements until there’s space to dance full out. It’s not considered marking. It’s called spatial awareness. And believe it or not choreographers watch for it at auditions. And what is repeated and practiced in class is what will unconsciously happen at auditions.

10. Never using any type of recording devices during class. The same goes for anyone who may be observing the class while waiting for you.

At the end of class applaud for the instructor, any musicians who may have played class and all who bravely attended. Remember it takes courage to pursue your dreams. And not everyone does.

When leaving the studio personally thank the teacher for the class and remember to take all your personal belongings and any trash (i.e. water bottles) with you when you leave.

Dancing is a disciplined art form, both in the execution of it and the etiquette behind it. These things should become second nature to you. They’re universal to all professional dancers everywhere. So much so that every one of them can be seen portrayed on stage in a highly successful acclaimed musical.

A Chorus Line was the very first Broadway show that I ever saw. It was amazing and quite fitting since I was coming from a dance background for this to be my indoctrination to Broadway. The show is fashioned from a collection of taped interviews. Dancers were asked questions about their lives. They talked about growing up, going to class and performing. There was really no aspect of a theatre artist’s life that the show didn’t touch upon. I could relate to what they were saying, the stories they were telling and their actions during the “audition”.

The original stories were all edited and pasted together for dramatic effect.  It’s hard to discern which original interviewee’s story was being told. It wasn’t until after graduating and moving to New York City and taking class from one of those interviewed dancers, that I found this out. It was amazing to hear his stories about putting A Chorus Line together, and finding out which parts of which characters in the show were his.

I also learned that Miss Bev has been a teacher of Michael Bennet’s. He was from the same upstate area where I grew up. He went on to become one of the creators of A Chorus Line and many other hit shows. Then I knew why so many things about A Chorus Line literally hit home for me.

For four years of college I lived that show. I went “Up the steep and very narrow stairway, to the voice like a metronome”, Miss Bev. She taught her classes like all classes from around the world are taught. What I learned wasn’t isolated to the little suburban town where I grew up and got an education. I watched it played out on a Broadway stage.

Miss Bev believed everyone was capable of achieving professionalism along with some sort of proficiency in dance. Maybe it wouldn’t be on Broadway or in a dance company, but as a personal accomplishment. She inspired generations of dancers to follow their dreams. She made non-dancers feel proud of what they could do instead of disappointed about what they couldn’t. She made sure everyone was comfortable moving in this world, even if they weren’t comfortable dancing in it.

Through her teaching, dedication and enforcing of a code of dance etiquette, Miss Bev made sure everyone and everything


"...was beautiful at the ballet."

Monday, July 11, 2016

I fortunately know a little magic...




So you’ve graduated from school and want to move to New York City to be an actor...

You’ve out grown your local theatre scene and want to move to New York City to be an actor...

You’ve always dreamed of being on Broadway so you want to move to New York City to be an actor...

You live in New York City and want to be an actor...

Or like my longtime colleague Arthur, you’re an actor who’s just moved back to New York City and things have changed...

No matter what a person's particular circumstances are, taking the next step in his or her career to or in New York City can be overwhelming. There are so many things a person needs to know just to survive let alone thrive and be successful. Becoming acquainted with people who have a bit more knowledge or experience or reading a blog like this helps.

Trust me, I’ve been there. I know the struggle is real.

Straight out of University I was the ripest shade of green on the planet. I knew nothing. I was fortunate enough to book a summer stock season. The theatre was located about two hours outside of New York City. I had been to NYC before but never as an actor looking for work or looking to make a living. I had no idea what the hell to do. Luckily I became friends with people who did.

During the summer one of my cast mates, Leslie, became like my big sister. She was from Jersey and in my eyes was a theatre veteran, so worldly and experienced. She looked after me in all sorts of ways. She even took me to my very first New York audition.

Our contracts were soon to be up so Leslie and I wanted to find our next gig. For the audition we needed to be prepared with a song and dance attire to dance and a monologue. Finding material to use at auditions is whole other blog. Suffice it to say that being straight out of school, I had songs and monologues at the ready.

We took the bus to her parents’ house in New Jersey and stayed overnight. Early in the morning her parents drove us to the bus station to catch another bus to go into the City. We arrived at the crack of dawn and grabbed a bagel then whisked off to the audition. Luckily it was being held at a rehearsal studio across the street from Port Authority, the main bus station in NYC, so we didn’t have far to travel. That studio no longer exists.

At the time I didn’t know about the several versions of auditions that take place in New York City: 

Non-equity
Open call
ECC
EPA
Appointment
Agent appointment
Invited call

Leslie and I were going to what I now know is called a non-equity audition. It’s for people who aren’t part of the actors union, called Actors' Equity. The audition was solely for non-union performers.

The Non-Equity call, for our purposes is the lowest in the hierarchy of auditions. That’s not to say there is anything wrong with Non-Equity calls. It’s just that there are no rules to follow. Each audition is run independently. An actor will never know how it’s going to be run until the audition starts.

And if you want to audition, you have to get there early...really really early. And generally wait, sometimes all day, to be seen. And there is no guarantee that you will be seen. In a nut shell this is the reason most actors want to become Equity: they don’t want to waste their entire day waiting. But more on that later. Back to the Non-equity call...

If a non-equity audition is slated to begin at 10am, an actor’s best bet is to arrive at the audition site at 6am (or earlier). Inevitably he or she will not be the first person in line. Someone will have already been there and posted an “unofficial” sign up list.

Usually the first few people who arrive will label a blank sheet of paper with the name of the audition. They’ll put their name on the list at number one, two, and three and so on. Sometimes they’ll leave and come back closer to the audition time. Sometimes they’ll sign up a litany of friends and wait for them to show up and tag the originator out so he or she can take a break get some breakfast or even go home and go back to sleep.

The savvy actors who have left the audition site will show up just prior to the building opening. Oh yeah, actors are generally standing outside waiting in line because the building doesn’t open up until seven, eight or even nine in the morning. And the weather does not detour actors from lining up; cold, snow, rain, sleet, hail, and blistering sun, we are outside in line.

When the “in the know” actors come back to the audition site, they’ll join their friends where ever they are in the line. The building opens and all proceed to the audition room, hopefully in an orderly fashion. The unknowing actor will show up after the building opens or just joins the end of the line, believing he or she is ahead of the four hundred other people because he or she has signed up as number ten on the unofficial list. But that’s a crap shoot.

The unofficial sign up list is called so because no one of any power or input at the audition has posted it. It does not have to be honored by the people behind the table. If the people behind the table decide to honor the unofficial list all is fine. However should they not honor the list, those who didn’t stay in line will be screwed out of their efforts. In the end they will have gotten up uber early and signed up on a list for nothing. Their day will be wasted waiting to be seen anyway.

A non-equity call is like the Wild West: lawless, unprotected and it’s better to have friends to help you out and watch your back. In my non-equity days we traveled in packs. Leslie was the beginning of my pack and my pack leader.

If a day was particularly busy the pack would divide and conquer. Letting each other know which audition was light and which was overrun with other actors. On one Valentine’s Day my friend Helga and I were able to do seven (7!) non-equity auditions in one day. It was all thanks to our pack.

And after all it’s a numbers game. The more an actor is seen the more likely he or she will get cast. And that’s what we all want isn’t it?

I didn’t get cast at my first New York City audition, but that didn’t stop me. I still moved to NYC and began auditioning on the regular. I then stumbled across an “Open call”, the next rung up in the hierarchy.

At times the two terms “Non-equity” and “Open call” are synonymous. The main difference between a non-equity call and an open call is that some open calls are looking for Equity actors as well. Again the actual auditions are run by the producers which means no strict rules to be followed. There are still the unofficial lists and lining up before the sun rises. Some of these calls will see union members before non-union members. I remember being so pissed off when it first happened to me. I had been sitting with my pack waiting hours to be seen when a group of union members walked in. They were immediately put on line and auditioned.

“Flames, flames from the side of my face”.

Such is the case with Radio City Music Hall auditions, but that's the rule there. RCMH is governed by another union AGVA (American Guild of Variety Artists). So don’t be surprised if and when it happens.

And this is basically what happens for non-equity at an Equity call.

Sooner or later actors tend to tire of the waiting game of trying to be seen at non-union auditions. Thoughts of transitioning to union status start to fill their heads. (I did an earlier blog about union versus non-union. It needs to be updated, but for the sake of this blog let’s say being union is the goal. I’m pro union, but it’s a little more complicated than people realize). There are several ways to become union with one of the easiest being hired to do a union show. To get hired for a union show an actor has to attend a union audition. And technically an actor can’t audition for a union show unless he or she is union. See the problem?

When I finally had my fill of non-equity work, and working conditions, I set my sights on becoming union. Louise, who I had met while on scholarship at Broadway Dance Center, had also had her fill of the non-union life. We set out together to cross over into being a “professional”.

Whenever there was an Equity audition that we thought we were right for we would head over to the Equity lounge. There we would sign up on an unofficial list, and sit in the hallway outside the lounge on hard, backless benches and wait. And wait. And wait. We had to wait to hear whether the audition would be seeing non-equity actors or not. That decision was solely made by the people behind the table. There were times when the monitor got the word right away. Most times we would sit outside all day from 9am until 5pm without knowing, only to finally hear “They’re not seeing any non-equity today.”

Louise and I loving named the waiting area the “bitter benches” for obvious reasons.

We were waiting for one of two types of calls that Equity has. More often than not it was the Equity Chorus Call that peaked our interest. We were inexperienced but we knew enough to realize that our best chance of being hired for an equity show was in the chorus. What we didn’t know was how a chorus call worked:

1.      Official Sign-Up Sheet Procedures: An official sign-up sheet for Equity performers will be posted for each required Chorus Call in the Equity Office. You do not have to sign the Official

2.      List in order to be seen. You may audition by arriving a half hour before the scheduled call to receive a Chorus Audition Card, after the list has been called. Please understand, however, that auditions may be cut off when the starting time is reached:

3.      "Unofficial lists" cannot be honored.

4.      The official sign-up sheets will be posted at 9:30AM one calendar week prior to the call. For example, if the call is scheduled for a Tuesday, the list will be posted on the previous Tuesday. (Should that day be a holiday observed by the Equity office, the list will be posted the following business day.)

5.      The list will be removed at 5PM on the first business day preceding the date of the call. You may sign the official lists only during this 9:30AM to 5PM time period.

6.      You may sign the list only on the consecutive, numbered lines of the official Sign-up Sheet. (Cross-outs and erasures will not be recognized).

7.      You may only sign one name at a time on the list. If you wish to add an additional name, you must return to the end of the line.

8.      If you are not present at the half-hour to receive the Chorus Audition Card, you will lose your place on the list. If you are on a line for any other call, the Chorus Call takes precedence. Therefore, if you are not present at the designated time to receive the Chorus Card, you will have to wait for the entire Chorus list to be read.

9.      Non-Required Calls: These Chorus Call procedures are established only for those auditions that are required by Equity contracts. Where Chorus auditions are not required by Equity contract (such as, emergency replacements, additional calls, callbacks, and so forth), these procedures may be adopted by the Producer, after consultation with Equity.

10.  A monitor will be present only at Chorus Calls required by Equity contracts.

11.  The monitor will report violations of Equity's “Safe and Sanitary” rules.

12.  You must have your paid-up membership card with you at the time and place of the call (or written verification from the Equity Membership Department of your paid-up membership status). Due to the very high volume of activity, membership status cannot be verified by telephone; therefore please always carry your card.

13.  You must, whether or not signed to the "pre-signup sheet”, be at the audition site at least one half hour prior to the official start of the call. Actors' Equity Association – Chorus Audition Procedures (New York and Los Angeles)

14.  Monitors will distribute the Chorus Audition cards as follows:

15.  At the half-hour prior to the official start time of the call, the monitor will read out the list in the precise order that the list was signed. (Names that are illegible, crossed out, erased, written over, or otherwise illegible will not be read.)

16.  Audition cards will be distributed in this same order.

17.  If you are not present when your name is called, you lose your place on the list. You will, however, if you are present before the list is completed, receive a card at the conclusion of the reading of the list.

18.  You may not “hold” another Equity performer’s card.

19.  You are required to show your paid-up membership card before you receive the Chorus card.

20.  The monitor will post the names and titles of all employer casting personnel conducting the Call so that you know for whom you are auditioning. The monitor will ensure that at least one of the casting personnel is a member of the artistic team.

21.  The monitor will also advise you as to what the requirements may be for the audition. For example, “up-tempo,” “ballad,” “16 bars,” and so forth).

22.  "Typing" is the method used by casting personnel to audition only those whom the casting personnel determine to be physically right for the production. The following rules shall govern:

23.  Typing is at the complete discretion of the casting personnel.

24.  Typing may only occur at the start of the call and typing must be completed before the audition begins.

25.  Typing is determined solely by the casting personnel for each individual call. For example, there may be typing at the women’s singer/dancer call in the morning but there may be no typing at the men’s singer/dancer call in the afternoon.

26.  The length of the audition is at the discretion of the casting personnel. This will be announced as performers prepare to enter the audition room. The length of the audition time may be changed throughout the call. For example, the call may begin requiring 24 bars of a song, and afterwards, the requirements may be changed to 16 bars, and so forth.

27.  For dance auditions, you may be called in groups to learn combinations. You may also be auditioned in groups. The size of the dance group is generally determined by the size of the audition room.

28.  If you receive an audition card and have not left the audition room, you must be seen (or typed, if typing is used). If you leave the audition site and are not present when called to audition, you will lose the right to the audition. You may, if you choose, wait until the end of the call, but there can be no guarantee of your being seen.

29.  Should one part of the call run late and, in the opinion of the monitor, will probably run into the next call, the first call must be stopped and the second call begin as scheduled. If you did not audition during the first

That's how it was for us when we first started. Beginning with auditions on August 1st, there are new rules governing the Equity Chorus calls. New York City has finally joined the digital age. Now the rules are the same for L.A. Chicago and New York:

An Equity monitor will be present only at chorus auditions that are being run according to these ECC procedures in New York City, Chicago, and Los Angeles. When chorus auditions are not required by Equity, the producer may choose to utilize these procedures after consultation with Equity.

1.      Members may sign up for ECCs using the online sign-up feature on Casting Call, accessible through the Member Portal. Online sign-up for each chorus call will begin at 9:30 am one week prior to the date of the audition (or the next business day, if the audition is scheduled on a weekend), and will end at 2:00 pm on the business day prior to the audition. Members who are not able or do not wish to sign up in advance may audition by arriving at the audition venue 30 minutes prior to the scheduled start time of the call to receive an audition card after the ECC sign-up list has been read. Please note that once the first member has entered the audition room for each call, the casting personnel may close that call, at which point no further chorus cards will be distributed for that call.

2. Chorus Audition Cards will be distributed as follows:

a)      The Equity monitor will read the names on the ECC sign-up list starting 30 minutes prior to the start of each call. The names will be read in order and numbered audition cards will be distributed to all members present whose names are on the ECC sign-up list. After the list has been read, the monitor will distribute audition cards to any members present whose names were not on the ECC sign-up list. Members will audition in number order.

b)      Members who are not present when their name is read will lose their place on the ECC sign-up list and may receive their audition card after the entire ECC sign-up list has been read.

c)      In order to receive an audition card, members must have a paid-up membership card (or written verification from the Equity Membership Department of paid-up membership status). Membership status cannot be verified by telephone.

d)      A member may not “hold” another Equity member’s card in order to receive an audition card on their behalf.

3.      The monitor will post the names and titles of employer casting personnel who will be in the room conducting the call. The monitor will ensure that casting personnel meet the requirements of the associated agreement. Actors' Equity Association – Chorus Audition Procedures (New York, Chicago, and Los Angeles)

4.      “Typing" may be used by casting personnel to audition only those members the casting personnel determine to be physically right for the production. The following rules shall govern typing:

a)      Typing is entirely at the discretion of the casting personnel for each individual call. If typing is used at one call (e.g., the female singers’ call), it may or may not be used at any of the other calls for that production or season.

b)      Typing may only occur at the start of each call and typing must be completed before the first member enters the room to audition.

c)      Typing must be done in person and in the audition room. Typing of members may not be conducted using only headshots and/or resumes.

d)      Once typing is announced, no non-Equity or opposite gender actors may be seen at that call. Once typing of members has been completed, the call is considered closed.

5.      The length of the audition is at the discretion of the casting personnel. The monitor will advise members what the casting personnel have requested for the audition (e.g., “up-tempo,” “ballad,” “16 bars,” etc.). The length of the audition may be changed throughout the call. For example, the call may begin requiring 32 bars of a song, but may be changed later to 16 bars.

6.      For dance auditions, members may be called in groups to learn combinations and may also be auditioned in groups. The size of each dance group is determined by the size of the audition room and whether the combination(s) will be broad or tight (i.e., whether each dancer will cover a lot of room or will dance in a small space).

7.      If a member receives an audition card, they are guaranteed to be seen (or typed, if typing is used). If a member leaves the audition holding room and is not present when their number is called to audition, they will lose the right to the audition at that time. A member who has missed their number being called to audition will be permitted to be lined up at the end of the of the Equity portion of that call.

8.      If one call (e.g., male singers) runs late and, in the opinion of the monitor, will likely run into the next call (e.g., female singers), the first call must be stopped and the second call started as scheduled. In such a case, casting personnel must offer appointments to any members with audition cards for the first call who were not seen.

     Revised, July 22, 2016

At this point my pack had dwindle. Leslie had left the business having never gained her equity card and Helga found a man, got married and moved away as did many others. So Louise and I become audition buddies and went from audition to audition to audition to audition hoping to get seen in hopes of getting an equity card.

Louise wanted her card badly. She flat out refused to do any non-equity auditions. It was her card or bust. Me on the other hand, I was still going to non-equity calls. I mean I had to work, and non-equity stuff seemed to be where I was having the most luck and had the most connections.

A friend of mine, Manuel, suggested that I audition for a theme park. He was working as the assistant to the choreographer so I decide to give it a go. I got hired as a dancer. This came at the same time a bunch of other non-equity work happened for me. In fact I worked for two years non-stop.

Before the theme park would start, I was doing “Hello Dolly” at a dinner theatre in Pennsylvania. The next show was Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. I was one of the best male dancers they had. The company manager asked me if I would like to stay and finish out their season which also included The King and I. The money at the theme park was better but working for the dinner theatre lasted longer. Seven Brides for Seven Brothers is one of my favorite musicals. I agreed to stay as long as I could play one of the brothers. I was informed that wasn’t possible and I would be cast as a suitor and I could be Lun Tha if I wanted the role. I was so upset. I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t be a brother (now I know why). I declined the contracts and went off in a huff to do the theme park.

Best worst decision ever.

When I finally returned to New York City I went back to the bitter benches to try and get my Equity card. I thought surely I would be afforded better opportunities to play the roles and do the shows I wanted to do as an Equity member [insert laughter here]. I kept trying and trying to be seen, but to no avail.

At a non-equity call I ran into a former cast mate from the theme park. We caught up with each other and then inevitably we started talking about theatre and auditions. I asked him if he had any luck with getting seen at equity calls.

“Yeah sure I get seen all the time.”

“What? How? I never see you on the bitter benches outside of the Equity lounge.”

“Why would I sit there when I can sit in the lounge?”

Unbeknownst to me Equity had a program that allowed non-union actors to start to “transition” into becoming union actors. It’s called the EMC program and it stands for Equity Membership Candidate. It’s where an actor retains his ability to audition and work non-union jobs but grants him or her the ability to audition for union work as well.

There are three steps to becoming an Equity Membership Candidate

1.      Obtain an eligible position at an Equity theatre that utilizes the EMC program

2.      Complete the EMC registration form provided by the producer

3.      Return the completed form, with the non-refundable $100 registration fee payable to Actors’ Equity Association, to the producer for filing with the union.

Because of the rate of pay of the theme park and the number of weeks we worked, I was eligible for the program. A list of participating theatres is listed on the Actor’s Equity website. I now had a spiffy new blue and white card. But most importantly the rules changed:

New York City EPAs Only
1.      AEA Members First: Non-Members, including EMCs, are seen only when no Equity Member is auditioning or waiting to audition.

2.      Get There Early: You must sign up with the Equity Monitor on the EMC list before the midpoint of the scheduled EPA. When you sign up on time, your EMC privilege continues throughout the scheduled EPA. After the midpoint of the scheduled EPA, you may sign up on the regular non-Members list.
a.      If the EPA has a scheduled break of ½-hour or longer, the midpoint of the EPA is the beginning of that break.
b.      If the EPA has no scheduled break, the midpoint is halfway through the scheduled EPA. (E.g. EPA from 10 AM - 2 PM: midpoint is 12 Noon.)
3.      Bring Your EMC Card: To be signed up on the EMC list, you must present your own EMC card, signed in ink, to the Equity Monitor. (Good practice! This rule also applies to Equity Members signing up for EPAs with their Equity cards.) To make sign-up easier, please print your name on the card, too. The Monitors and Equity staff can't "look you up," so don't forget your card.
4.      Be There When We Call! If you don't respond when the Monitor calls you to audition, your name must be crossed off the EMC list. (Same procedure used for the Equity Member Alternate list and for the regular non-Member list.)
a.       If your name is crossed off, and you give your card to the Monitor again before the EPA reaches its scheduled midpoint, the Monitor will sign you up again at the bottom of the EMC list.
b.      If your name is crossed off, and you want to sign up again after the EPA has passed its scheduled midpoint, please sign up at the bottom of the non-EMC non-Member list.

Now I could go to an EPA, which stand for an Equity Principal Audition. There are a different set of rules for union members:

1.      An official Monitor will only be present at auditions that are being run according to these procedures.

2.      Monitors will report violations of Equity's “Safe and Sanitary” rules.

3.      Monitors and Equity staff are not permitted to have any discussion regarding anyone who is auditioning, nor may they discuss any casting issues, with the employer’s casting personnel.

4.      You must have your paid-up membership card with you at the audition or written verification from the Membership Department of your paid membership status. Due to a high volume of activity, membership cannot be verified by telephone.

5.      Monitors will sign performers only on the official EPA sign-up sheets.

6.      The Monitor will arrive one hour prior to the scheduled start of the call. The only official list of performers will be the one established by the Monitor. Only those actually present, with paid-up membership cards, will be placed on the list. You will be required to show your membership card again prior to admission into the audition room.

7.      Should performers who are present before the start of the call choose to establish and honor an unofficial list/order among themselves, the Equity Monitor will sign up those performers in the order in which they present themselves. This order must be established before the official start of the call. However, Equity and the Equity Monitor can take no responsibility for organizing and/or coordinating any such unofficial list/order.

8.      Day of Audition. Appointments will be scheduled only on the day of the audition in the following manner:

a.      Six performers will be scheduled in 20-minute blocks of time. The length of each performer's audition will be at the discretion of the casting director, with a minimum of one minute given to each performer. Any time left over within the 20-minute block will be assigned to “alternates” (see below).

b.      You will choose a 20-minute time slot for the audition, and be issued a white principal audition card with the time slot indicated on it. Time slots are available on a first-come, first-served basis.

c.       There are also two open-ended alternate lists:
                                                                                                  i.      List A: For those who are not signed up for an upcoming time slot, i.e. those whose only chance to audition at all is as an alternate. Members on this list will be called before members on List B.

                                                                                                ii.      List B: For those who are already signed up for an upcoming time slot, i.e. those who are already certain of being seen, but may wish to audition sooner. Alternates will be “filtered” into the auditions as time permits. “Open-ended” means that you may sign the alternate sheet at any time. You could, for example, choose to be an alternate instead of choosing a specific time slot (in which case you would be on Alternate List A). Should you choose, however, to sign up for a time slot and be on Alternate List B, you must sign one list and go to the rear of the line to sign the other. (Whether you sign the time slot list first and then the alternate list or vice versa, you will be on Alternate List B.)

d.      You must arrive and check in with the Monitor ten minutes prior to your audition time slot, as calculated by the clock in the Audition Center (or by the Monitor if the audition is in another location). If you are not present on time, an alternate will be given the appointment, time permitting. There can be no exceptions to this procedure.

e.      If you are an alternate, you must be available when your name is called. If you are not present when your name is called, you will lose the alternate slot. Please understand that there is no guarantee that alternates (from either alternate list) will be seen.


f.        If you miss your scheduled time, you are permitted to re-sign (on Alternate List A). If you miss your alternate slot, you are permitted to re-sign on Alternate List B (if you have also secured an upcoming time slot) or on Alternate List A (if you have not).

g.      A time slot insures an audition during that 20-minute time period. If the audition process moves quickly, you may audition earlier than the scheduled time slots. However, your time slot will be honored, provided that you arrive 10 minutes before the scheduled time.

i. When there is a lunch break, the Monitor will post a Lunch Time Information Sheet with the following: Name of show, time of break, and time Monitor will return.

ii. Sign-in sheets will not be “carried over”
to the next day.

Again these rules only apply to New York City auditions. Auditions in other cities such as Chicago and L. A. are run a little differently. You also have to keep in mind that there are two types of each of these calls: the required call and the non-required call.

Required calls are auditions that are literally required by Actors’ Equity Union by laws. It’s most often seen for long running shows and mostly on Broadway. But they can happen on any level. The people behind the table aren’t looking for any new actors but they must provide new actors with the opportunity to be seen. Lots of actors think these auditions are a waste of time because no contract will be given out and the people behind the table usually send someone who has no casting authority to sit in on the audition. However todays casting agency go-fer could be tomorrow’s Bernie Telsey.

I was officially on my way to becoming a “professional” actor. In upstate New York, where I’m originally from, only union actors are considered to be professional actors. Until you have your Equity card it’s just a hobby, I guess. It didn’t matter that you were being seen for professional high paying shows. If you didn’t have your card you weren’t professional.

This is just a lack of understanding. Upstate we were so far removed from the epicenter of musical theatre, Broadway and New York City. We had no idea that you could audition for any show, regardless if it was union or not, if the people behind the table allowed it or asked for submissions and  then gave you an appointment.

An appointment doesn’t have any rules. It’s most likely run by the theatre if it’s regional or by the casting director if it’s a high level regional or Broadway. The people behind the table will take out advertisements in the trades (Backstage, Variety), post it in Actors Access, or on Craig’s List and / or social media. An actor sends in his or her picture and resume or video or audio recording. Then the casting people will determine if an audition is given.

However be wary and be smart: if you’ve been given an audition and you’re asked to come into someone’s home or in a hotel or any other non-public, non-rehearsal space or even sketchy rehearsal spaces (anyone remember Harlequin Rehearsal Studios, on the same staircase as an all-male full frontal nudity strip club? Go in the wrong door...) bring a friend or two along. Let other people know where you’re going. Make plans directly afterwards so someone is expecting you to be somewhere at a specific time. And above all else if it doesn’t feel safe to you, get out right away. You owe no one an explanation or an apology. Just leave.

Now with all the potential risk factors that COULD be associated with an appointment audition, this is definitely one of the more coveted types of auditions. If you’re given an appointment that means the people behind that table have pre-screened your product. They’re interested in it. So much so that they’ve given you a specific time to show up, as opposed to getting up at the crack of dawn and waiting to maybe garner one of a few audition spots.

The only unwritten rules associated with appointments are:

1.      Show up at least 10 minutes before hand. You will need to check in with someone, probably a monitor or stage manager, and you may have to fill out some sort of information card.

Which ties into the next point...

2.      Always carry a pen. In theory always carry one pen with blue ink and one with black ink. There’ve been times when I’ve been asked to only fill out a card in a specific ink color. It’s just better to appear prepared and be prepared

Speaking of being prepared...

3.      Always, always, ALWAYS bring at least one hard copy of your picture and resume. It doesn’t matter that you’ve already sent it electronically. Chances are the people behind the table didn’t print it out. More likely they didn’t want to lug everyone’s pictures and resumes to the audition. And it doesn’t matter if they’ve told you it’s not needed. Bring it. Perhaps someone behind the table or in the waiting area thinks you’re the right type for a different project. You have you promotional materials at the ready.

The people behind the table have given you an appointment. They want to see you. They think you could be right for the show currently being cast. Coming in prepared and professional works in your favor because they already like you. And this could be the deciding factor in you being cast.

At the very least you’ll make a good impression.

Making a good and professional, yet friendly impression is extremely important. Because once an actor gets to a certain level in his or her career, everyone is talented. Everyone is attractive. Everyone knows how the game is played. And everyone plays it well. The reward for making it this far up the ladder of success, outside of actually booking a gig, is the most sought after type of audition: the invited call.

Being invited to audition means someone behind the table knows you, likes you, and likes your work and work ethic. They have a desire to use you in their show based on their prior experience(s) with you. As opposed to an EPA or an appointment, an invited call is small in scale and generally a lot friendlier and casual in nature. But don’t let that fool you or lull you into a sense of calm or complacency.

An invited call is where the job is truly on the line. Contrary to popular belief, an actor can get hired from any audition, be it non-union, an ECC or an EPA or an appointment. However an invited call is where the action always happens. An actor or actors in that room will most definitely walk away with a contract. If there are only ten people invited into the room for one contract, the odds are one in ten. You can bet your diploma, your airline ticket, or your day job that those other nine friendly, fun and personable actors/singers/dancers are going to be giving Tony Award worthy performances during their audition. So if you want it, you have to do the same.

But first you have to get to that level. And that takes time. An actor has to spend hours upon hours waiting in lines at an auditions. And looking at trade papers, searching breakdowns, self-submissions and agent appointments.

By the way I haven’t forgotten about the sixth of our eight types of auditions, the agent appointment. The only difference between those and the other auditions listed here is that an agent submits an actor's picture and resume or video or audio to the people behind the table, in hopes of getting that actor a specific appointment time. If an appointment is given, all the same rules and guidelines from the other auditions apply, like showing up ten minutes early. The best advantage of an agent appointment is that the agent can potentially get feedback on the audition and why it wasn't booked. And even when an actor has an agent, he or she still has to be diligent about trying to get auditions and auditioning on their own.

You’ve been so diligent. You've read all this information about the different types of auditions. I believe diligence should be rewarded. I’m going to give you a bonus, some invaluable information, a magic formula that will save you some heartache, time and arguably most importantly, some sleep. I’m going to help you determine how early to show up at an audition (be it Equity or Non-Equity) for which you do not already have a predetermined appointment.

Judging when to show up at a call can be easy if you take into consideration some very important factors. These factors are what shows are being cast, what types are being sought, how old the characters in the show are, and where the audition is taking place. To this day my University friend Lester still calls to ask my guidance and we've been out of university for years!

 So now my magic formula about when to show up:

1.      Any audition that is searching for females in their early to mid-20s will be packed. If the audition is for a popular show like Rent, Wicked, My Fair Lady, Oklahoma, Hamilton or any of the other juggernauts of Musical Theatre, it will be doubly bombarded with potential auditionees. Getting there as early as 6am for an 8:30 sign up would benefit you, especially if you have time constraints. And getting there even that early doesn’t always work. I’ve missed out on getting an audition appointment twice, even though I showed up to stand in line one day at 6am and another day at 530am.

2.      If the show(s) in question are looking for the opposite of what people behind the table consider “All American” generally showing up later is fine. However you have to also take into consideration what show the audition is for. If it’s something like Hamilton you’d better line up days before hand.

3.      Most Acting only auditions are generally not as busy here in New York. Or rather they seem to not be as busy. Actors have arrived at a non-musical EPA at noon, when the audition started at 9:30am, walked up to the desk, signed in and walked directly into the audition room. That is a virtual impossibility for a musical being done anywhere, unless word is out that it’s already cast.

High level shows like those on Broadway, despite what is told to actors, are almost always cast prior to the actual publicized auditions. Actors tend to stick with a project when they believe it’s going somewhere. Many of the leads of a new Broadway show have been with it since the informal reading at the writer’s apartment ten years ago. When the show has a need for someone new, the people behind the table have private auditions (see “Invited call”) usually well before required calls and agent calls.

4.      The rehearsal studio’s opening time (when you can get into the building) and its relationship to the start of the audition can also help you gauge when to arrive. The earlier the building opens the earlier people will get in line.

Back when I first started going to Equity auditions I only went to the ones in the Equity building on 46th street. It just seemed right to me. At that time the audition studios were on the second floor. All the potential auditionees would line up outside the building in the wee hours of the morning. The line would stretch down the block. Inevitably when the 9-5’ers were on their way to work someone would ask what the long line was for. We’d simply say “a job”.

Back then we knew by landmarks on the street whether we would be seen or not. If we were on line at the church, it would be an all-day wait with no guarantee of actually getting to audition, no matter if we were Equity or not.

Time has progressed. The Equity Audition Center has moved to a new floor. There’s an early morning waiting room right outside the elevators for all actors where an actor signs up on a list in order to be lined up to go to the Equity lounge to sign up for an appointment time. We no longer have to wait outside. There is even a café and restrooms. Gone are the days of tag teaming with your pack mates to run to McDonalds around the corner for coffee or god forbid to use the restrooms.

I have my Equity card now. So I’m professional, even according to upstate actors. I’m no longer banished to the nether regions like a second class citizen. I have the privilege to attend Equity auditions and am barred from attending non-equity ones. I get to walk into the Equity lounge whenever it’s open. I just have to show my paid up and current Equity card.

Things have certainly changed.

The bitter benches outside the Equity lounge are gone now. They’ve morphed into a “future members’ holding area”, which is nothing more than a glorified hallway directly inside of the Equity lounge. But it’s inside the lounge. So it does have a little more civility to it. However the hunger, the desperation of those “future members” is still there, all tinged with the hope of dreams yet to be fulfilled. I can see it as I stride past with my appropriately colored Equity card in hand.

Everything is different now for me and for the Business of show. Yet I can still remember how I felt sitting there on those outside benches looking in, wondering, longing. And that’s why I write this blog: to help navigate the murky waters of life as a performer. I want to pass on the knowledge that was passed on to me. Because like my mentors probably did, when I was sitting outside bitter and unable to even use the bathroom inside the Equity lounge, I now walk by the future members’ holding area and think...

“...Poor unfortunate souls. In pain. In need...”