the world in which you dwell’s no paradise

 

Well September is finished. School has started and auditions are in full swing. It’s back to life as we actors know it. This September was amazing.

 

This September marked the 25^th anniversary of the opening of Miss Saigon. Yes back in 1989 Miss Saigon open on the West End (London’s version of Broadway). It starred Jonathan Price as “The Engineer” and a then unknown Filipina, Lea Salonga as “Kim”. All these years later both are names you know or should know. Both are names a lot of people look up to and aspire to be, especially Lea Salonga.

 

I recently auditioned for another huge extravaganza of a musical, Show Boat. Because of the contract for this show actors came out of the proverbial woodwork to audition. You can always tell if there’ll be a lot of people at an audition based on the size of the contract and or the popularity of the show or the casting office. Normally I wouldn’t have gone to an audition for Show Boat. I’m not the right type. However the casting notice said they were looking for all types, shapes, sizes, ethnicities and voice types. And that was posted not just for the legality of the situation, which made me think it was true.

 

 At the audition, the people behind the table decide to “type”.

 

Typing is when the people behind they table look an actor up and down and decide merely based on what they see, whether to allow grant an audition. I abhor typing. It reduces talent down to a superficial level based on personal preferences. If I’m being honest though, that’s how talent is perceived anyway.

 

The guy ahead of me in line, an Asian, said that he was glad they were typing. That way the people behind the table didn’t waste his time if they weren’t interested. I thought this was pretty strange coming from a man of color, since the opportunities in theatre are so much less for us. I’m of the belief that getting in front of the table gives actors a chance to sway the people behind the table into a different direction of casting a role.

 

I’m a bit naïve and idealistic that way.

 

They walked my group into the room. Twenty of us stood in a line while the people behind the table perused our resumes. They announced who would win a coveted audition. The Asian guy did not have his time wasted.

 

Nor did I.

 

I’m a type. I’m a shape. I’m a size. I’m an ethnicity. And I have a voice type. On paper I’m everything they were asking for. Then again, so was everyone else including the Asian guy. The only reason I can guess why I was not allowed to audition is because of my resume.

 

Twenty years ago in September, my best friend Helga put me on a plane. I had been hired to open Miss Saigon, in Germany.

 

I auditioned because my friend Arthur told me I had to. He knew the production company. Moreover, he had heard what they were looking for and believed it was me. And it was. I was one of four people hired out of New York. The rest of the cast were coming from all around the world.

 

Me. One out of four. Well it was really one out of two if you consider the fact that one of the four were hired to understudy “Chris”, the male romantic lead, and another was hired as an acrobat. I was one of two guys who were picked out of 9 million people in New York City.

 

Life as I knew it would never be the same.

 

In this busy September I auditioned for a show that I’m great for, a show I want to do. I had a great song, a great outfit and a great disposition as I walked into the room. The accompanist was great. The people behind the table were great. I sounded great.  I was even asked for part of a second song. They actually listened to me sing the entire second piece. Great.

 

After I was done singing the people behind the table began a conversation with me. Again great! That’s what an actor wants, a moment to chat. Because if they’re taking the time out of their audition schedule to talk it means they’re definitely interested.  What wasn’t so great is the moment when they asked if I had done the show before. Everyone who mounts this show wants actors who have already done it. I haven’t done the show, yet.

 

The show is a “career” show. That means that once an actor does it, he or she can literally do it for the rest of their performing life. And actors do, provided they remain the physical type required for the show and the show is still produced. Forever Plaid and all of its incarnations, is an example of a career show. The people behind the table generally look for actors who have been cast in it before.

 

The people behind the table did mention that I had a nice resume, a good body of work and colleagues. These folks actually knew other actors involved with Saigon, Stuttgart.

 

In celebration of Miss Saigon’s 25 years, there is a revamped revival playing on the West End. It’s getting rave reviews, especially the guy playing this incarnation of “The Engineer”. His name is Jon Briones. He’s a wonderful actor and an all-around great guy. I personally know him. We did Saigon in Stuttgart, Germany together.

 

Yes. I did just name drop. And I can do it again and again and again. I know some big names in the Theatre world. We’ve performed together, hung out together, had drinks together, went to school together. Hell, we’re friends on Facebook.

 

Due to schedules and sometimes thousands of miles distance between us, Facebook is the only way to keep in touch. No one writes letters anymore or sends cards (with the exception of Christmas cards). Most people don’t pick up the phone to chat. We’re all too busy with our lives. So we rely on social media.

 

For our 20^th anniversary the Saigon Stuttgart cast and crew were planned a reunion. Unfortunately most of us are scattered throughout the world pursuing our dreams and goals. The ones who remained in Europe to follow their goals and were close enough to attend the reunion did.

 

I didn’t. I live in New York City. I let my passport expire. More pressing was the fact that I didn’t financially plan far enough in advance to afford to take the time off from my day job. I had important auditions to attend, shows to see and networking to be done. I did have the next best thing to being there though: Facebook.

My colleagues, friends, and family from Saigon Stuttgart posted pictures and videos and generally spread the love we shared, and share, from the four corners of the globe. I myself scribed a status update on our anniversary:

 

     Twenty years ago today a group of people from around the world started an adventure

     together. We’ve picked up some friends along the way and twenty years later we are on

     separate adventures but are still together.

 

The post opened a flood of responses from my Saigon pals. At one point the conversation turned to the upcoming gala celebration in London. My former flat mate told another cast member, who had done Saigon London that he should come to the gala show and celebration on the West End. He didn’t respond for a bit. When he did, he announced that he had booked an airline ticket to travel from the West coast of America to London and he was arriving on Sunday. The posting took place on Friday. The guy booked a ticket to fly to London two days later, or most probably the next day since the flight from the west coast is longer than coming from New York.

 

Who has that kind of life? Who can just pick up and fly to Europe on a whim to see a show and go to a party? Apparently this guy does. And he made it publically known on Facebook.

 

I wanted to be there. I wanted to see Jon do his thing on the West End. I wanted to party with my former cast members, many of whom were in the original production in London. I wanted to take a picture with Sir Cameron Mackintosh. But I couldn’t. I had to stay in New York City, and work. I had to schlepp drinks and hors d’oeuvres to billionaires on their private estates.

 

My Saigon Stuttgart cast mates are doing everything from starring on the West End, to owning a Bed and Breakfast in Tuscany, to having babies (and teenagers), working on Broadway, working at the Met, traveling the world, celebrating visiting 100 countries (100 freaking countries!), running and owning theatre companies and yoga studios, buying houses and apartments, running European fashion Boutiques (in Europe), getting married, changing citizenship, playing with the great orchestras of the world, opening photography studios, recording albums, making music videos and starring in films that are up for Oscar consideration.

 

And that’s just my Saigon Stuttgart friends.

 

Everyday my news feed is chocked full of all the wonderful news of the people who were and still are a part of my life. Each and everyday someone on my news feed is doing something incredible; opening another show on Broadway, visiting another country (I still can’t believe that one guy’s been to over 100!), getting married or having babies and so on.

 

Each and every day I think “I want to do that. How come I can’t do that too?”

 

Each and every day Facebook forces me to compare my life to the lives of those I know and love. It lets me share in their happiness and accomplishments, and I am truly happy for everyone.

 

But If I’m being honest, Facebook makes me so jealous sometimes that I can’t see straight. And it makes me feel that way more often than not. And if I continue down this road of honest, I have to admit there are times when I can’t even log in because I know the posts I see will highlight the inadequacies of my life.

 

Facebook shows me all the things I’m not doing and all the things I can’t have and all the places I can’t go. It shows me on a daily basis what my life could look like if I were as happy and successful as everyone else.

 

My Facebook feed is filled with rainbows, faeries and unicorns. Nothing sad ever happens other than people dying. Sure there are posts about political rallies, government coops, beating victims, police brutality and social injustice. Those things just don’t involve anyone I directly know.

 

This timeline was destroying my chance at happiness, weakening my drive and resolve. Because I believed, like most people, that everything posted was the story, the whole story.

 

Until I saw this:

That video woke me out of a Facebook feed stupor, a diabetic coma induced by all the sweet things that I read and pictures I viewed. The video showed me there’s story behind each post. But it’s not always a happy story.

 

This video woke me up to realize the enormity of my life and my accomplishments.

 

I lived in Europe for five years. I worked in theatre that entire time and was paid handsomely to do it. I met people from all over the world from every continent. Ok not Antarctica. They don’t have theatre in Antarctica.

 

Hmmm...Theatre in Antarctica...next frontier?

 

I digress.

 

I visited some of the great European cities like Barcelona, Paris, London, Amsterdam, Milan Brussels, Prague and Ibiza to name a few. Okay so Ibiza isn’t a city. It’s an island, but we had so much fun on the beaches, in the foam parties and the discos that open at 11am I just had to list it!

 

I came back to the states virtually bi-lingual.

 

I’ve directed, choreographed and cast shows in the regions and in New York City.

 

I’ve traveled the US doing shows both on tour and sit down productions.

 

I’ve taken vacations and cruises. I’ve hiked in rainforests, gambled in Vegas and visited the place with my Grandmother was born.

 

I’ve written the book to a full length musical. It’s now in the Library of Congress.

 

I’ve worked for and with some of the big names in musical theatre: Charles Strouse, Norm Lewis, Linda Eder, LaChanze, Burton Lane, and Anthony Van Laast to name a few.

 

I’ve had my picture taken with Sir Cameron Mackintosh.

I’ve done all this, me, a little ethnic boy from the suburbs by Canada, who moved to the Big

City with two hundred dollars and three suitcases.

 

The truth is, social media is mostly fantasy, just like faeries, unicorns and that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

 

We need to demystify and view social media for what it is: a tool. It’s a way to keep in touch with friends past and present. For actors it’s a way to garner auditions. It’s a way to promote yourself and your product.

 

It’s also a time suck, taking away that much needed resource from your goals, your dreams, your commitment. I've seen more than a few friends and colleagues leave the Business because other actors were making strides in their careers, while he or she was stuck temping, or babysitting or schlepping drinks and hors d'oeuvres to billionaires on private estates. Those poor souls spent what little free time they had plugged into social media.

 

 

I work on not comparing my Life to anyone else’s. I work on fulfilling my goals. I work on not letting Facebook or any other social media kill my dreams because I see someone else has already obtained theirs. I work on keeping my joy and happiness (and ego) healthy and alive. It’s those beautiful moments when you remember who you are, what you’ve done, how far you’ve come and where you want to go that infuse you with new energy.

 

I had one of these moments this September. And what did I do? I posted it on Facebook to share with my friends and colleagues near and wide:

 

     “I live in New York City. I just auditioned for a Broadway show. The little boy inside is

     screaming for joy!”

Yes. September was amazing, if only because of this singular moment. 

 

Realize that Social media like a gun at point blank range, is cocked and ready to blow holes in the face of your Career, your Ego and your Life. Disarming your captor only requires you to not take what you see and read at face value. You only need to not believe Social media as the only undisputable truth.

Doing this takes the bullets out of that Winchester rifle. And we all know...

"...The pistol shot can’t kill if you unload the gun."