So I've got nothing to share...

I traditionally think of January as a transition month. We start out with New Year’s Day, which for most people is a day of recovery. For me it’s a day to hang out with my friends. I think there’s no better way to start off a year than with a group of people who make me laugh and love me for just being me.

Then comes The Epiphany. It's not a revelation, but the day that is traditionally celebrated to mark the three kings’ arrival to Bethlehem. For those of you familiar with the song, it’s the twelfth day of Christmas. One of the gifts I gave myself this year was a full priced ticket to see a show.

It’s after Epiphany that the holiday decorations come down. This year the weather got worse (and then better and then worse again) all the while we actors start to gear up for auditions. There was a change in the way auditions are being allocated. It’s good. It’s bad. And it gets ugly.

A new person was inaugurated into the seat of the presidency of the United States of America.

I recently did a blog about the hierarchy of auditions and how to go about getting them. (I fortunately know little magic) Shortly after that post went live the procedures for signing up for the ECC (Equity Chorus Call) changed. I updated the blog to reflect the changes. Now the EPA (Equity Principal Audition) procedures have changed.

I won’t update that blog but I will share the new set of rules here:

I went to my first EPA of the year on January 18. My appointment was at 4:20pm so I needed to be there by 4:10pm. I left my apartment an hour before I had to check in with the monitor. It’s typically a 20-30 minute trip. Due to no fault of my own (thank you MTA subway system) I arrived at the audition site at 4:12pm and was marked late. After a couple of days I received a warning email. It basically said that was strike one.

Recently I connected with an old high school friend. Back in the day we were besties. We were in the Drama Club together. We had the same sense of humor and we liked to do a lot of the same things. He was really into baseball, but outside of his practice and games, we were together all of the time. We had a blast. He was a few years younger than I was, but even after I left high school to attend University, we kept in touch.

Things changed for me at college though. A lot of things. The summer after I graduated I got my first paying gig outside of my hometown. After I had left for that job I contacted my friend. There were some things I needed to tell him. The most pressing thing was about my sexuality.

I was almost a thousand miles away so I had no choice. I came out to him over the phone. After that conversation we didn’t speak again. Ever. I should have known better than to get in touch with him via Facebook, especially with all the political turmoil happening.

Since we are new Facebook friends, I tend to regularly see posts from that baseball loving guy on my news feed. One day my old high school “friend” posted something that irritated me to no end:

I could not believe that a former thespian, someone who acted all through school, could have an opinion like this. And more shocking is that his friends echoed his sentiments. I don’t know why I find this shocking, but I do. His brother, who is older than me and also a high school friend, did not concur with his little brother's sentiments:

In general I try to stay out of political discussions. But every so often something comes up and I just cannot hold my tongue. This was one of those things.

I sat for two hours at the audition on January 18, with my name on the alternate list in hopes of being seen. It didn’t happen. Not only did I miss my appointment to audition, which is bad enough, I wasn’t able to ply my wares in front of potential clients. The cherry on the ever-melting Sunday is that I’m now being watched to see if I’m late again. I cannot be late in the next 12 month period or I’ll be banned from on line sign ups.

Now I can understand if an actor just doesn’t show up for his or her appointment, and I can understand an excessive amount of tardiness. However New York City transit can be difficult and unreliable to say the least, which is why I left an hour before I had to sign in. But to tell someone you can never be late is unrealistic. And if you are late, twice within a year, you lose the “privilege” of online sign ups.

I may not know much about sports but I do know that even in baseball you get three strikes before you’re out.

Obviously this lateness rule was made by a person(s) who doesn’t attend EPAs because they have an agent. Or if they do attend EPAs, they have the luxury of living within walking distance to the audition sites.

Either way, it shows how out of touch people of power can be with every day realities, the struggles of trying to make a better life for oneself. If the people in power were more connected to what is happening in the world, perhaps instead of banning some from doing what they need to do to survive, they could differentiate between the ones who offend the rules and cause problems, and the ones who are merely victims of something they have no control over.

I plan on writing a letter to Equity expressing just such an opinion, which as a member of the community is my right.

I have an opinion. You have an opinion. Every person has an opinion and conclusion about what is right and just, and what is wrong. And we all know “opinions are like buttholes...everyone has one and everyone thinks everyone else’s stinks”. Everyone is allowed to express their opinion. But “shut up and sing”? Come on. Artists are people as well. The only difference between the well-known high profile ones and normal Joe Schmos is that they have a large scale platform to address the issues that concern them.

The show I treated myself to was Dear Evan Hansen. Those of you who know me personally, know that I'm a hard critic when it comes to performances and shows. This was an incredible production, worth every penny I spent on my ticket. It's everything that a show on Broadway should be, not literally but figuratively. I was ready to stand up and cheer at the curtain call.

The final number ended. The actors walked off stage and the house lights came up. And nothing. The actors didn't come back out to take a bow.

I turned to my friend Rhett, who came with me, and said "There's no curtain call?"

Rhett's reply was "This is only intermission."

Art isn’t just for entertainment. Art at its very basic definition needs to make people laugh and cry and feel. And think. Yes think; about love, loss, patriotism, extremism and every aspect of Life possible. Watching Dear Evan Hansen, I was thoroughly moved from laughter to tears to pensivity. My "small heart grew three sizes that day."

If you’re doing Art for any reason other than setting the heart, the mind and the soul on fire, inciting revolutions of ideas, you’ve disconnected yourself not only from the thing you love, but from the world. Instead of being involved you’ve isolated yourself. You're outside...

“...Waving through a window.”